I suppose it's easier to present all the photos and videos I have stored since December in an orderly manner. Memories that we made are ever present on the photos and videos. If I didn't write it soon afterwards, it's gone from my memory forever.
I've taken a long break from writing. I guess life has happened, and I've been dealing with many issues from my past. Maybe I'll talk another time about that.
Some recollections that I did made note of are:
Enzo called me STUPID several times. Has not happened again. I'll share more about the why.
Libby figured out God does not sleep. She said that now that we are here (and not in India) we are awake, but then when we sleep, people in India start their day. So God doesn't sleep. Plus, He has always been with Jesus.
Libby and I argued almost to tears about Laban vs Leban. I was right. I won.
Libby also figured out that God is not a man. I panicked a little bit because I was like, "Here we go with her Muslim friends in a near future. They're gonna try to tell her a million things about Jesus..." Then she said, "No, God is not a man. But He became a man so He could come to earth and live with us."
Do you understand now why I say that Jesus IS God? Becasue YHWH Himself came to this earth in the person of Jesus Christ. It is NOT another God. It is the same God, but a different person... And then, I wish I had had a camera but there were fireworks on her face. We were driving, though, I was talking to her while watching her on the rear-view mirror. So probably not very safe. LOL! I tried to explain her the third person of the Trinity, but I lost her at Jesus is God.
Libby singing at church
Enzo opening Christmas gift
My boy and his gift
Playing together
I can't upload Libby's video, it's too long. But if you ever want to see it, Libby, I have it in my computer for you to see. She got a bike.
Emerson got me a puppy for Christmas. We argued about my gift because what I had in my hands was a timer. Then he said it was coming from Asia, and he tried to keep it so excited that I got upset. I can't deal with uncertainty for so long, and I had to wait 100 or more days. Eventually I guessed what it was, and my puppy was still in the womb of her mommy.
PHOTOS OF MIA
Mia's mom - Dakota
MORE CHRISTMAS PHOTOS
Counting down the Days till Chrsitmas
Cookies for Jesus
First ginger house - ever
Daddy building it
Done
Getting ready for the tree
Not so excited
Almost done
I asked Emerson what had made him change his mind in regards to getting a puppy. He said that for the last two years I'd been asking for one, so it meant I really wanted one. That really meant a lot to me. The fact that he put aside his own "pain" because Dori is his first puppy ever. She just turned twelve. Emerson got Dori for me when my first husky died. And he was with me when I would cry and cry... so he kinda knows that's coming for him. Also for me, but I've experienced that pain at least once.
So the fact that he was willing to love another dog - who eventually will also die - let alone the money that you spend for the next thirteen years or so... Now he is actually saying he wants one more puppy (a German Shepherd) and that's it. LOL!
Anyway, I'm happy because Mia has brought a lot of energy to the house. And it sucks to have a puppy. I didn't remember it was this difficult. Probably it was because my mom would clean everything, and I would just play with the puppy. But Cindy was so much fun, and there was so much adrenaline in my body whenever she would chase me. There was also pain when she scratched me, but by far Cindy never bit me or did anything to me as Mia has done to my children. I tell them she will grow bigger and bigger, but they don't listen...
It just makes me really happy to know that they will form a bond with Mia. There's something about a child and his/her dog. I already see it. Mia only stays on the couch with them, and yes, she's rough but she loves them. And she knows they are there to play with her :)
I feel like now that we are back, we are finally back.
We have a routine, but not really. LOL! Suddenly, I feel overwhelmed with many things I want to do, but I have to be wise in what I choose to do - if that makes sense.
I can no longer tell Libby to do a Christmas card, color it and give it to me, because she wants to do everything on her own. So today, for example, she wrote the names, wrote Merry Christmas, folded it, and put it inside the envelope. She... it was awful. She folded it but it was all folded in the "wrong" way, and I wanted it perfect. In my mind, things ought to be just-the-way-it-is-supposed-to-be, otherwise it's wrong. Or bad. Or just not the way I wanted it.
This was a card for some missionaries in China, and I was like, "This is very special, you know".
I want God to use me and Dana said, "He is using you right where you are". And then I said out loud, "Yes, but I am upset because I don't want to be where I am. I want Him to use me where I want to be used!"
So that pretty much sums it all up.
I had this moment of realization in which I was so unhappy, but then I look at my life and it's like, "What am I expecting to happen that will make me happy?" I already went through this with money. It took me three years to break down and finally recognize that money does not make you happy. A career does not make you happy. I am looking for joy. And in my time of anger last week, I got into my room, and I told God, "What the hell?! What is wrong with me? What is what you would have me do? What do you want me to do?"
And this song began ringing in my mind, that if you don't have any idea of who Seeds Family Worship is, then you should check them out :)
GIVE THANKS Psalm 105:1-3
And I began singing and singing and just singing to God. And the more I sang, the more I cried when I was at the Rejoice part, because I refused to rejoice.
Rejoice about what? I asked God. My children are awful, they don't listen to me. And my life is not what I had planned, and blah, blah... And I began telling God that I knew I had a house, and I knew I had healthy children, and I knew that I had this and that... and then I thought of another Bible verse that says:
Be joyful always, pray continually, gives thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
It was like God telling me, "This is what I want you to do right now"
The Rain
I've had people telling me God cannot speak to you. But you see, this is completely against my will. Why - if not from God - would I want to do something like this? And then, my whole perspective changed. 1. BE JOYFUL ALWAYS
I asked God how could I be joyful when my children do not do what I ask? How can I be joyful if there are things I want changed? How can I be joyful when I do not see any lives being impacted? I want to change the world. I want people to love God, and to come to a relationship with Jesus. But I am not anybody's savior.
Unless God draws people near Him, they won't come to Him. Even if God speaks into their hearts, they still can refuse. They can reject Him. People are driven by many different things - culture, other religion, life's circumstances. Everybody sees the world differently than I do. And I feel so overwhelmed... because I feel that if only I can show them how likely it is that Christianity is true, then, they will have to accept it, right?
NO. Nobody can say that Jesus is Lord without the help of the Holy Spirit - and that has been my mistake all along. I have tried to take it into my own hands... I have tried to do the job of God himself. And I am paying dearly for it. People's feelings got hurt, my feelings got hurt. But I have felt God's comforting me saying, "Move on. You learned, now let go. Keep moving forward"
My joy is not supposed to end or be limited due to other people's reaction to the Gospel, and I always make that mistake. It is sad, indeed, but at the end, it's not my fault.
Also, my children... I think it is a bad joke that God can mold me into the image of His Son by using my children. But man, you can develop such patience with Enzo... I don't know if character and weaknesses are genetic, but I have a mini-me in my boy, and it's scary. He is so sensitive and so passionate. His anger blinds him, and he doesn't seem to see beyond that. He's been hitting people with shoes, and they have told me at church and at BSF to talk to him, and I'm like, "I'm working on it".
There is hope, tough. I could have easily killed one person had I had a knife in my hands at some point, so I understand my boy. I do. I do understand what he is feeling. And I can help him through it. I know he can change. I know he can learn to control his feelings, and his anger if he yields to the Spirit of God. Better to learn now than when he is 24. So, there is a lot of hope for me and Enzo working together :)
He is also very sweet. He kisses me, and today he picked a small weed for me to put it on my hair.
2. TALK TO GOD ALL THE TIME
I was always bad at this, but I am getting better. I usually don't tell God when I am upset - even though He knows. But it really helps to just talk. That's what prayer is - for the Christian. Praying means talking to God. I don't take advantage of this on a regular basis, and I should. God is always there. He lives inside of me. I am His temple. There is so much theology behind that... that is my hope. That is my faith. And I have noticed lately that the less concerned I am about "doing" something, the more likely it is to happen.
For example, I had this conversation with a woman at they gym in which - in just two minutes - she told she is married but has had four miscarriages. People are crying for somebody to listen to them. If only I would slow down more and listen more... And I did. I was just listening, asking questions. I was enjoying being there - with her. And then BOOM! Why would she tell me that? And she was so sad, obviously... I had to stop myself from sharing the Gospel because she was working and she was busy.
And then I thought, Why did I not tell her anything that would give her hope? But what hope can I give her if she's Muslim? She will refuse my hope... She will look at me and said Jesus never died because she has heard that all her life. And if she's passionate about her faith, she will also tell me the Bible is corrupted and here we go again... And all this time I'm talking to God and asking Him to help me give her hope - somehow. And I'm like, "DUH! God is not limited to what I can do. He can give hope to anybody regardless of their background. Particularly because of their background. Sure, she's Muslim. So what? At some point in my life I also spat on God's face... And He reached out to me - regardless of my background."
I never get a haircut, but yesterday, I did. So this other lady just talked and talked about her family.
And Emerson thinks I am the one leading these conversations into spiritual things, and maybe he is right. I talk too much about God in my regular chatting with people. I also ask too many personal questions too often, and too quickly. With this lady, tough, we had so much in common. I guess she was able to relate to me because her family is Hispanic, and we were talking about family drama and how to break away from it while still loving your family. And I was very glad that at least I was able to make her afternoon better. She said she would love to have coffee with me one day, so she asked for my number.
YES. If I see her again, eventually I will talk about God. And I will talk about Jesus. And I will talk about how she can have a fulfilling life in which she can experience peace with God, and assurance of an eternal destiny with Him. I will tell her how she can have a love from God that she does not have to earn, and a salvation that she does not have to work her butt off to get.
Of course I will talk about those things. I know myself by now.
Jesus did not come to heal the the healthy, but the sick. I was sick. He healed me. Why wouldn't I share the medicine with others? If I don't share it, then either I don't believe God loves her as much as He loves me - which means I am fine with her going to hell - or I don't believe that my faith is true. God has changed my life and I just want people to know the way God loves them. 3. BE THANKFUL IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES
I guess this is the most difficult thing for me. It can be. I went to a Missions Conference last weekend and I felt God is working in my heart regarding many issues going on around the world. I am thankful for many things. This might be weird, but ever since I came back from India, I'm becoming kind of a radical Christian.
I had always taught my children that God saves us so we can go to Heaven, and sure, that's a good thing. Of course, it is. But that is not the Gospel. That is not the whole Gospel. The message of the Cross is so powerful that at first it seems weak. God saved us from our sins. He saves us from ourselves. Eternal security is a given for those who call Jesus their Savior. But then what? When you read Scripture, it never assures you a life full of danger, or a life full of bliss. Laying down your life for the Gospel was something Jesus told his disciples will happen.
And that's why Christians in the other parts of the world are my heroes right now. They are living Christianity 101. Jesus said they will hate us because they hated Him first. They will persecute us because they persecuted Him first. Indeed, the hour would come when whoever kills us will think they are offering a service to God. Does this sound familiar? Isn't this what we see all around the world right now?
Jesus was meek, but make no mistake, He was not weak. He came to die willingly. He knew that the same people He had set His heart on loving would be the ones killing Him. And He still came. God himself came. And I can go on and on on giving apologetic proof on how theologically this makes sense, or how historically accurate Jesus' death on the cross is. But that doesn't work. ISIS does not give crap about that. ISIS' goals are pretty much set - they want to expand. They want to destroy Israel, Christians, and the West with all its corrupted culture.
How can we - how can I - be thankful in circumstances like this? When people are dying, when my Brothers and Sisters in the Faith are being killed in the name of Islam, how am I supposed to give thanks for that? Am I supposed to give thanks for that? People are dying for many things, call it religion or climate changes... but terror is all I see on Facebook. At the same time, Muslim women are playing with my children, taking care of them, and they want to cook for me because I told them I miss Indian food...
Make not mistake. I am not defending Islam. If ISIS does not represent Islam, I still believe Islam is a false worldview. If Islam is the religion of peace and a beautiful religion, I still think is a false worldview. Just as Muslims in general believe I am going to hell for worshipping three gods, well, I believe Islam is false. Or Mormonism. Or Hinduism. Or Jehova's Witnesses. But now more than ever, I am able to separate any religion from its followers. And God is after the followers. Oh, boy, He loves them dearly.
His Princess
You should have seen people at the conference... people willing to die to go tell others about Christ. People praying for ISIS, people praying for the nations. People willing to go to remote places - even if they would have to die. And we do not love death. We love life. Terrorists have said they love death more than we love life... And once you have read enough to understand why Hamas loves death so much, I just cannot come with any other answer but the fact that it is the only way they think they will get Paradise. I am just praying they don't miss it...
This Thanksgiving I don't rejoice in the fact that I am safe while others are not. I am thankful for that, yes, but I don't rejoice. Let me be very clear on this. I will tell you why I rejoice.
The Trails
Today, more than ever, I rejoice in the fact that I worship a God who is alive. I rejoice because I have a Savior who died for me. I rejoice that the concept of self-sacrifice is not strange to me, but it is the way that my Lord showed me to follow. I rejoice that I can willingly lay down my life for the sake of others. Nobody will take away from me. I give it up freely. I rejoice because I serve a God who loves me unconditionally. I rejoice because He has given me life to the full here and now, and I will never look back on who I was. I rejoice because the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in me, and He is greater than Satan. I rejoice because the worst thing that ISIS or anybody can ever do to me is to kill my body - but they will never kill my soul. They will never kill my spirit. They may take my earthly life away from me, but they would only make me see my LORD's face. I rejoice because death has no power over me. I rejoice because I am no longer afraid of dying. I rejoice because as long as I live, I will proclaim the Message of the Cross to anybody who would listen. I rejoice because my God calls me His own. I rejoice because apart from Jesus' blood, I am no worse than the worst jihadist. But my YHWH is a good God. And His love for me endures forever. Amen.
Libby is four years old, and Emerson turned 32. We celebrated by going to the mall and having a hotdog.
Eating hotdog
Birthday Celebration
Happy Birthday
Enzo got lost at the hotel where we were staying before coming back to Texas. He was crying when we found him. Hopefully that will teach him (both of them) to listen TO ME, and not get in the elevator even if somebody offers to give them a ride. They ran ahead of me, and they got in the elevator before I could do anything :(
Arriving at the airport
Last auto-ride
Emerson (we) had the visa appointments when we needed them, and exactly at the right timing. It is not funny anymore to see how sometimes we still doubt that God will provide for our needs... but it is still reassuring that God has a plan for us.
Enzo broke his head because he fell from the bed, but thankfully he didn't need stitches.
Open scalp
We sold the car promptly after one day.
The children got sick many times during the last weeks of being in India. With hotel rooms and the airplanes - and everything changing around us - there was throw up at unexpected times.
Last idly
Pizza at the hotel
Life seems normal now, but not really.
HAPPENINGS IN TEXAS
Being back is great. I felt weird at the beginning, but now it feels like I never left. It's difficult to describe, so this is not an attempt at all. Several things have happened in my life and my faith. It just "feels" different. America feels different. It feels like India was only a dream - it came and it left in the blink of an eye - and now I'm back here again not knowing what to make of it all.
Current beds
My children are older and potty trained. I'm cooking more, but we are still living in a "hotel". We might be the owners of a house soon, but nothing is certain until it is certain. Friendships picked up where we left, so that's great.
We've gone to church twice, and when I look around, it just feels different. We are going to Sunday School thanks to a bouncy castle that the children like. And we also do BSF and MOPS, so the children are happy. The playgrounds are awesome, and there is always something to do rather than being watching shows all day long. That made me choose to keep Libby from going to preschool this year (and only this year), and I will also be homeschooling Enzo :)
Cute
BSF
Castle
I wanted to send them to school so badly because I want to do my own thing - reading, watching debates, taking online classes - but it seems it is not time yet. The children and I are reading our Bibles together, and two nights ago Libby made a comment that made me think she is really listening.
LIBBY AND ENZO MAKE ME SMILE :)
After I explained the gospel two nights ago, she casually said, "Oh, I believe that... Enzo, do you believe Jesus died on the cross for your sins? Okay, mom, we believe, now we will never die."
I didn't jump in excitement because I know she doesn't understand many things yet. I guess this is the moment every mom is waiting for, like seizing the time when your child accepts Jesus in their heart. And I didn't seize it. It didn't feel authentic yet.
They missed The Squirrels
My personal journey is still developing, and I am still learning many things within my own faith. And it just feels different. Not better or worse - just different.
I actually laughed when Libby said she believed. I said, "Really?
It was refreshing to be reminded that there is nothing in the gospels that requires you to have evidence. The requirement is belief in the death and resurrection of Jesus, and repentance from sin. The New Testament actually encourages looking for evidence if you want to. Christianity is a reasonable faith - contrary to my own belief for the past eight years. And I am still gathering evidence.
Family
Libby and Enzo made me smile when they said they believed. I smiled, and then I laughed at my own agnosticism or skepticism... whatever the right definition would be. They proved me wrong. You can believe just like that. I did that once. And if you don't believe just like that, it is okay. Doubting does not disqualify you from being a true follower of Jesus. It certainly hasn't disqualified me.
My faith feels like a choice right now. I had always said that, but I probably never really had the opportunity to choose differently - if that makes sense.
The Christian faith IS a choice. And I am choosing Jesus as my Lord and Savior.
For YOU who have prayed for me,
Christian scholar John Crossan said that even if we hadn't heard it from the gospels, other two ancient Jewish historians - Flavius Josephus and Cornelius Tacitus - confirm that Jesus died by crucifixion.
Ex-Christian and now agnostic scholar Bart Erhman (who constantly challenges the reliability of the New Testament) said that the denial that Christ was crucified is like the denial of the Holocaust. For some it is simply too horrific to affirm. For others it is an elaborate conspiracy to coerce religious sympathy. But the deniers live in a historical dreamworld.
Even atheist Gerd Lüdemann said that Jesus' death as a consequence of crucifixion is indisputable despite hypotheses of a pseudo-death or a deception which are sometimes put forward.
Yeah, it feels weird to say this... History - not faith alone - is saving the day for me. Thanks for your prayers, friends :)
BTW, I heard this song at church. And, of course, I cried. LOL!
New Delhi was nice. It was relaxing - as relaxing can be with my children. LOL!
I was in charge of organizing this trip. So I looked to all the things and attractions that Delhi had to offer. I ended up packing the days up, and even though we didn't do everything we were supposed to do, it was still a victory. It was super hot, and most of the time we had to walk under the sun to go from one place to another. I mean, we took taxis, but walking within the places we visited under this heat and humidity was really tiring for all of us. But the children were troopers. Emerson and I were troopers, as most of the time we ended giving them horsie rides.
Old Delhi
Naan, Biryani and Kebabs
After eating lunch in Old Delhi, we visited Jama Masjid. It is the biggest mosque in India. I expected it to be packed since it was Ramadan, but it wasn't. I like the mosques. They are peaceful places. And they are beautiful with all the Quranic inscriptions. I was watching a video the other day on the psychology of Islam. It talked about why Americans feel attracted to Islam and become Muslims from a psychological perspective. Heck, I feel like wearing a hijab. I don't know why we Christian women don't wear it. Christian women in India wear it when at church. Not all of them, tough, but there's a Bible verse for that.
People feel drawn to Islam according to this video. They want to belong. They go to this peaceful places, walk barefoot, they listen to the beautiful call to prayer in Arabic and they join. Americans lack discipline - not everybody anyway - but Islam gives them a sense of discipline. A Get-yourself-together kinda feeling.Anyway, this is just the opinion of the guy in the video. He is an Ex-Muslim. He is not a Christian either, so I don't think he is biased. I think he knows what he is talking about.
Interior
Jama Masjid
On Thursday, we went to the Mexican Embassy, which is the actual reason why we needed to go to Delhi in the first place. We needed to renew our passports. It is hard to believe it's been ten years since Emerson and I were dating and got our first passports together. Wow... this November it will be eleven years since we started dating. We've been together for a third of our lives!
I couldn't take a photo of the embassy, but it was fun to be there. They guy outside didn't want to let Emerson in as he couldn't believe Emerson was a Mexican citizen in need of passport renewal. He said Emerson looked Korean. In Singapore, people said Emerson looked Singaporean. Even in Mexico they have told him he looks Chinese. LOL! Then my daughter and my son were making noises, and I had to stop them from playing with the flag. I was so relieved when we left there.
After that, we went to Lotus Temple. I think is some kind of religious temple where people from all faiths can go and pray. It is very peaceful, too. And you have to be quiet all the time, and not making noises so that people can focus and pray. Good luck with that! So we just got in, looked around quickly, and took our munchkins out. That's it.
Lotus Temple
On Friday we visited another Islamic architecture - Qutab Minar - built by Mughal emperors. It is impressive. Emerson also wanted to visit there because of The Iron Pillar of Delhi. I guess this 23 ft pillar is amazing because it has never been subjected to corrosion, and it proves how skilled the Indian blacksmiths were. Big deal. I'm not kidding, I think it is a big deal for Emerson. I guess that if you were to take me to the prison where you knew for sure that Paul wrote his last letter to Timothy - weeks before dying - it would also be a big deal for me.
We also went to a temple called Akshardam, but we couldn't take pictures since it is not allowed. It is beautiful. The architecture is amazing and also marble. A lot of money goes into that temple.
Qutab Minar
Family Fun
On Saturday we went to the Taj Mahal. It is amazing. It is so white, it looks as if it were floating - just there. There is nothing behind it, so all you see is the sky. It is truly a very expensive master piece of architecture that you cannot even begin to value. Twenty-two thousand slaves working everyday for twenty-two years. Could you imagine that? Plus all the materials were given to this emperor for free - as gifts.
I think the Taj is supposed to represent Heaven on Earth. That was the idea. You can google it. It is a sad story, tough, because people focus so much on "LOVE" that they forget the rest of the story. Shah Jahan had three wives, and only one could give him children - or the most children (fourteen children of his sixteen). According to Islam you are allowed to marry up to four women, on the condition that you provide for them equally, and you love them equally. So, for me, that breaks the "love" story. Not because I am judging him for not keeping his religion. Everybody falls short. But the woman he loved the most died during the childbirth of the fourteenth children at the age of 40. Pretty young.
The Gate to the Taj
Then Jahan was put under house arrest by his own son, and could only look at the tomb waiting to be reunited with his beloved wife. The tombs of the other two wives are nothing compared to the Taj - obviously. But if this is the wife he loved the most then why did he make her pregnant again after the physicians warned him about her health condition? Then it is also said he had an affair with the sister of his beloved wife. Plus plenty of concubines. If that is not enough, he might have committed incest with his own daughter. And according to the interpreters of their religious law, this prohibited relationship would have been unjust to condemn because you couldn't deny the king the privilege of gathering fruit from the tree he himself had planted. Well, that's convenient...
I'm not pretending these kind of issues are not in the Bible. You should read the story of David and Bathsheba. How he gets aroused when he sees her bathing, has sex with her, and gets her pregnant. Then David tries to make the husband have sex with her to hide the pregnancy, but the husband refuses to have sex with her because they are at war. So David ends up putting him in front of the battle field so he dies. And then, finally, David marries Batsheba. This is the kind of story that make Muslims believe the Bible is corrupted because of all the "porn" and sin involved. Muslims believe all the Prophets never sinned. Fine, up to them. But I see beauty in all this sinning. I see broken people in need of a Savior. I see people recognizing their need for God.
Almost there
David repents from all of this and God forgives him. God calls David a man after His own heart - after all that David has done. And God promises David that the Messiah would come from his blood line. Is that amazing or what!!
So call the Taj Majal a Love Story if you want to - the tour guide had to talk to us about something - but people ponder that the Taj Mahal is actually the effort of this emperor to prove his power, show off his wealth, and cover his guilt. I am in the habit of reading too much of too many things lately. And this proved shameful for me while interacting with my guide. He was telling us the story about the architect of the Taj Mahal having his hands cut off after he had finished building it.
It is said this was done in order that he would never build another mausoleum like this. So I asked the guide, "Are you sure that was the only reason? I mean, there were precious stones all over the place... What if he stole some? In some countries, under extreme circumstances, Sharia allows to cut off the hands of thieves".
Enzito :)
To which the guide answers, "No, you are wrong. It was so he wouldn't build anything more beautiful than the Taj Mahal". Then he looks at me funny, and even tough he didn't open his mouth it, my mind enabled me to hear him saying, "Good for you, lady, for reading your Quran. But don't ask me any more questions". So I didn't.
But to wrap it up, the Taj Mahal is beautiful. It is something you have to see with your own eyes at least once in your lifetime. Emerson was so happy he was able to see it. He said he had always dreamed of it ever since he was a little boy. That was sweet. It was a first for the four of us :))
Taj Mahal. Agra. July 4th, 2015
Children slept most of the drive home. And Sunday it was the last day in Delhi. We just relaxed at the hotel, we swam and then we flew back. We had a lot of fun. This trip was different from Singapore. There was not too much for the children to do. It was mostly historical places and such, and I don't think the children were into it, but I really enjoyed it.
Traveling has become far easier with them. I'm sad that they don't really need me all that much for many things. I'm relieved, but I miss the times when Mommy is all they needed. They still need me - who am I kidding? I cannot sleep at night. I'm done nursing, but they keep waking up in the middle of the night - almost at the same time - and they come camp in our bed. We probably should have refused, they were so well trained to sleep in their own beds before coming to India.
Emerson complains, but he is the first one telling Libby she can sleep with us when she actually asks, so... we are suckers for them. I'm sure one day they won't want or need to sleep with us anymore.
Until that day, I will survive on few hours of sleep, and coffee. I love my babies :)
