I would marry you all over again :)

"It's been almost three [twelve] years since I saw you for the first time, and let me tell you my first impression of you wasn't nice at all. [Lots of laughing]. They laugh because they know it's true. When people meet you for the first time you can be kind of obnoxious. I also remember I knew you name was Emerson because I asked your friend Adrian. Where is Adrian? He didn't come to the wedding... nice. You knew my name was Karla almost three years later, though... As time went by and we started dating, I soon realized you are very kind. You've been the best of the best with me and to me. And it sounds cliché, even the priest said it, when two people get married they do it with the intention of it lasting forever. I don't think anybody gets married thinking they'll get a divorce in three years... Tonight is one of the happiest nights I've ever had with you. I thank God and life itself I was able to marry the love of my life, and I really know it will last for the rest of my life. I love you, Emer." 

July 21st, 2007. "You really expect me to sign this?" 

I am not a marriage expert. Heck, I've only been married for six years. But if I could give advice to someone who is about to get married, or just counsel some couples I've met along the way, I would only say this: As much as you can, get rid of your selfishness. 

I won't get too preachy about how God has worked in my married life with Emerson, not because I don't love God or don't love to talk about God, but mostly, because to start with I wasn't even a God follower when I met Emerson. Even without Jesus in my life back in 2007, my love for Emerson was very, very real. But I was also very, very selfish. Very immature, very ambitious, very proud - way more. Well... I guess I will end up talking about God anyways, but I promise I won't assume everybody knows what I'm talking about. I have hope that someone in the middle of this earth has read, is reading, or will one day read my blog - specially this post. I just want to talk to them, specially if they have no idea what following Jesus means or looks like. I hope they can actually relate to my life. 

July 21st, 2013. Alcohol: What has kept us afloat. 

I'm always saying how perfect my life is. The truth is my life is far from perfect. I guess what I really mean is that I am surrounded with so many blessings that the least I want to do is complain. I still complain though, every morning, when Elizabeth comes to the living room (because Emerson decided not to put the gate up) and asks for her milk - at 6:40 am. I'm not ready to start the day at 6:40 am. I am sorry. I usually tell her she will be alright without milk for a while, that Mommy is still trying to go night nights, and that she has to go to her bedroom and read books for twenty more minutes. But then I hear her reading, and she sounds so cute. She is also whining about her milk, and calling my name like a thousand times a minute... then Enzo starts crying. So whether I was able to sleep or not during the night, it doesn't really matter. They are up and they need me, so my day starts. I choose them over me.

My day with Libby lately

When I met Emerson I was a very needy woman, very dysfunctional I would say. I didn't know that I was created for a better life, and a better purpose. I thought I could have anything I wanted, when I wanted it. I felt entitled to almost everything, and had no idea that work is usually involved to accomplish something. If you ask my mom, she would tell you I was an angel, and that she can't and won't ever believe all the stories that I've told her myself, or those that people who knew me in college could actually tell her about me. I guess she loves me very much...

I felt empty all the time, and like many people out there, I was trying to fill that void that most people feel deep inside their hearts - whether they acknowledge it or not- with alcohol, parties, clothes, cigarettes, dating jerks... more like JERKS, being mean to others when I could, and more... You are more than welcome to ask me for a copy of my book if you ever want to read the whole story. I have it in English and Spanish. 

Then I dated Emerson for about two years, got married and moved to Columbus, Ohio... GREAT. Now what?

Oh, yes... and LOVE :)

I never ever had a good example of what a good, strong, faithful couple is supposed to look like. Forget about followers of Jesus for now. I believe there are very happy couples who love each other, and who have never ever heard about Jesus.

Following Jesus is a choice.

But I didn't know what I was supposed to do or not do. All I knew was arguing, and getting depressed, and hurting Emerson with my words, because that's how I grew up. And I knew deep inside me there was something inherently wrong with my behavior. I just knew. 

I guess that's what people call conscience. That one was put in there by God. The Bible says in the Book of Romans 2:15 that some of the good things that we know we should do are written in our hearts. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says that God has set eternity in our hearts, but we have no idea about this. That is actually the reason we can't be completely satisfied with earthly pleasures, at least I couldn't. But again, I didn't know all that.

It took two wonderful people who opened their house and their hearts to us. They were patient, kind, loving, selfless, and never EVER pushy about Jesus. But they did love Jesus. They did follow Him. They just let us be who we were -which was scary, now that I think about it. I guess, little by little, they gave us nuggets of truth. Please meet Rob and Cheryl Burnette :)

Emerson and I have changed a ton. I'm happy, but more than anything, I am relieved that Libby and Enzo are not gonna know the mom I would have been. Please, don't read between the lines. I would still adore my children to death if I weren't a follower of Jesus, but I wouldn't have what I consider to be my biggest strengths as a mother and as a wife, if I hadn't surrendered my life to the One who died for me.

Our lives would never be the same

It took me tears and years to change, and I'm sure Emerson had to endure me for at least some months... but I changed, day by day. Jesus was always with me, helping me, and not giving up on me. And He is not finished with me yet. And so, that's what I mean. People can change. But I didn't change because Jesus changed me. I'll try to explain to the best of my ability... I feel terrible for people who have their hopes set in the wrong place or in the wrong person. Your love will never change a person. No matter how much you care for them, no matter how much you do for them, or how responsible you feel you are for them.

No matter how nagging you could be as a wife, or how controlling as a husband you could ever be. No matter how many Bible studies on marriage you do, or how many hours you spend with counselors. Your husband or your wife will never ever change, if he or she doesn't want to change. Even God cannot and will not change a man or a woman, if they don't choose to surrender. That is how much God loves you, and them. Isn't free will, like, the best and worst free gift of all times?

So yes, following Jesus has been the best thing that happened to my marriage. I always wanted it to last forever, but to be honest, I kinda lack the tools to make that happen. Again, I don't have a formula, but it is possible for marriages to last forever, because that's how God created marriage to be. In my case, I've learned that I always get upset when I don't get what I want. Isn't that why people always argue? We are selfish by nature. And so there you have it: I need to work constantly in being humble and less self-centered. I've learned many other lessons, but it would be impossible to tell you all of it.

All I can do is work on who Karla is. All I can do is to focus on my relationship with God, because the closer I grow to Him, the more I would feel like being the best version of me - as a mother and as a wife- out of love for Him, for His glory,

"So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God"

 1 Corinthians 10:31

  

 Bungee

On Saturday, July 20th, we had lunch at this restaurant called Gringo's. It's Tex Mex food, and it was good, but I keep comparing these restaurants to Pappacito's. It was nothing like it. It was cheaper, tough. We had a really good time there, after having gone to the outlet to buy a running bra for me, and some tennis shoes, and socks for Emerson. 

Good eaters at Gringo's

We didn't know what to do for our anniversary, and even though we had asked a friend to baby sit for us, we decided to spend the day with Enzo and Libby. We thought it was neat to spend the day with them, plus we had free tickets to the Children's Museum. So we made a reservation at Hugo's for Sunday morning. It was supposed to be really good Mexican buffet, and we wanted to try it. 

It was freaking awesome!! 

It's, by far, the best Mexican food I have ever had in years. Really authentic food, no Chimichangas... concrete floors, brick walls, ivy on the outside, wrought iron fixtures, etc. Mexican looking refried beans, and quesadillas. Real totopos (chips), not the flaky ones you usually get at restaurants.

Anyway, I really liked it. It actually sucks I'm saying this, but eating there and listening to actual Mexican songs made me miss Mexico. Not my family, not all the drama of my life, just my country. That had never ever happened before in the six years we've lived in the US. 

So we got there and parked on the street, there was valet parking, but we didn't feel like paying extra. Libby waited patiently until they seated us. Everybody had a good time. Libby tried guacamole, totopos, frijoles refritos, quesadillas, tamal. Enzo had pretty much the same. I had a little bit of everything. But I'm proud to say I didn't pig out. It really was wonderful. 

A family that was seated next to us left, and they told us we had a really sweet family. That our children were so well behaved, and such good eaters. We smiled and thanked them. We are very blessed with the children we have. Some spankings have worked, too, but I thank God everyday for my family.  

Sample

Waiting for our seats

Mami y Guapo

La Bikina

Posing with Daddy

Nena enjoying her food

Desserts

My little man

When we left we went straight to the Children's Museum. We got there twenty minutes before they opened. We had tons of fun playing with Libby mostly in all the different areas they have, Enzo still doesn't really care for much of it. However, he had a really good time in the tot area. So probably I'll just describe the pictures since there is not a lot to say about it. 

Children's Museum of Houston

"I see you, Nena"

"Hello, Daddy?"

Taking Daddy for a ride

Driving like my Mommy

Learning about density

Admiring molecules

Eating chicken

Eating a waffle

Our waitress

She actually likes broccoli

Paying for her carrot

Enzo exploring

Working his motor skills

Ball pool

Being chased by Sissy

Thinking what to do next

Swimming with Sister

Playing with Periclitos

Exercising

Camarada Loco

Terrible Mother

Climbing

5, 4, 3, 2, 1... Beep, beep, beep!

Daddy seems tired

Ready to go

Sliding down

My babies

Playing with puzzles

She knows her colors

My rabbi curls

Figuring it out

Standing up

Firefighter

The museum opened at 12 pm, and about 12:30 pm, Enzo seemed pretty tired. Emerson thought he was going to take a nap, and so he decided to stay with him in the stroller, while I was playing with Libby. But I know that Enzo... When there is action he can hold it very well. So I took him out of the stroller, and that's how we all ended up playing together. He doesn't even look tired in the photos!!

We left the museum at 2 pm. None of them stopped moving around during all that time. I set the timer for the last ten minutes, and Libby was about to cry when the alarm went off. It could have been a terrible tantrum scene... I held her in my arms, and very calmly whispered, "Nena, the alarm is making the sound. You knew this... It's time to go home". She stopped crying. And we left, just like that. She is such a good girl :)

And they are OUT!

Enzo fell asleep since the moment we started driving, so he had a good 45 minute nap. Libby couldn't hold it any longer, even though we were playing a DVD for her. She passed out 15 minutes before getting home. I tried to put her to sleep again once we got here, but it seemed fifteen minutes were more than enough for her. Enzo was up playing already, and she heard him. So she just took care of her daddy, and joined her brother in the living room for more playing until night nights came.

Nena covering Daddy

"Sleep tight, Daddy."

Emerson, 

These six years with you have have been great. Thank you for being the husband and the daddy you are. I honestly would love our daughter to marry someone like you. He'd still be an idiot in our eyes, but he would love her so much and would take such good care of her. And I'd be so proud if Enzo becomes a man just like you are: honest, hard working and completely in love with his family.

 I love you, Chiki.