miércoles, 28 de noviembre de 2012

17 mile- Thanksgiving :)



This post was supposed to be about Thanksgiving day, but then other things happened, and you know how it goes: I have more and more piles of photos and things to say about my life. So you'll see many photos, but probably not a lot text.

To start with, ours was an unconventional Thanksgiving. Unconventional because it is the first time we don't cook the usual stuff. Who has time to plan a whole meal for Thanksgiving? Well, I can plan it... I just can't cook it. Not like before, no turkey for us this year. Libby is unstoppable this days. 


I'm not pregnant anymore, and so Emerson and I decided to start exercising. On Thursday, we decided to go for a long walk... We ended up getting coffee at the Starbucks in Randall's  On the way back, we stopped for Libby to have a snack and Enzo to drink some formula. I didn't want to nurse him and have to take off my running bra, it's a hassle to put it on in the first place. We left the house around 8 am. We came back four hours later. We walked almost 8 miles that day. The next day, Friday, we walked 3 more miles, and 6 more on Saturday. We rested on Sunday- thank God!






I started walking with Merritt again, she is pregnant now, so she wants to stay fit. Yesterday I walked 6 miles between her and Emerson. And today, I walked/jog 7 miles.  No wonder why I feel like eating a dinosaur right now. Emerson probably thinks I make this up, but I'm so hungry probably because I'm nursing and doing this much exercise. I feel alive, tough. We were just talking in our walk this evening that it took us an hour to walk -I jog at his walking pace- 4 miles. One hour. That's one hour we could easily spend like vegetables in front of the couch watching TV. And make no mistake, we will spend that hour watching TV in front of the couch, but at least we exercised.


Longest trip for a coffee


We had veggie pizza for dinner tonight, lots of zucchini, mushrooms, olive oil, and cheese. Libby loves her vegetables, anything with olive oil and Parmesan cheese. Also her new thing is yogurt if I haven't said so in another post. I also had- after everybody had a bath- grapes with that laughing cow cheese, 2 slices of bread with cream cheese/green onion/garlic dip, and a glass of my husband's wheat beer. What? I'm really hungry. 

For Thanksgiving we decided to go nowhere, but just walking and cook something easy, something that was on the menu for this week anyway. We ate couscous with vegetables, and avocado sandwiches. Libby loved the couscous with feta cheese, and also the cream cheese dip. Of course she also loved the pumpkin pie with vanilla ice cream.

I am so proud of her, she is only 18 months old, but she is so helpful with me around the house. She is always looking for ways she can help, or she can please me. Like the other day I mentioned one of her stuffed animals and she went looking for him. It was in her crib so she tried to climb on it helped by the drawers... I know it because her room looked like one of those CSI scenes. I asked her if that's what she tried to do and she made a  YEAH sound. 


  
Avocado sandwiches and couscous


Emerson and Enzo have two stuffed animals that represent them, two little donkeys. Papa Burrito y Enzo Burrito. Elizabeth is La Nenota, now a days. La Nenota is a doll my mom bought for her, it has a tooth brush, and so they brush their teeth together some times. 

I was talking to Emerson about the things we are thankful for. Obviously he is thankful for our children. I am thankful for them, too. I love the fact that this Thanksgiving we didn't make a big deal out of it. I mean, it is nice to have a day to celebrate formally or give thanks, but in all honesty, for me it just felt like one more day that we thanked God for everything. I know the history of the day, and that's important, but I told Libby thanksgiving is a way of living more than a day to celebrate.    

Elizabeth is not talking yet... Emerson says he will be soon. I can't wait... really, I want to hear her voice saying NO. Right now, she just shakes her head. 



Having lunch at the mall

Libby helping with Enzo


We also went to the airport on Huffmeister to watch planes. Libby also loves planes lately like her daddy. Every time we go outside for a walk she is looking for them, and gets upset when it's cloudy because she hears them but can't see them. We have this ritual now that we get to kiss every time she sees a plane. One plane, one kiss. Lucky me, I get like six kisses from my girl in just one trip to the office :)



















Planes



Happy 1.5th birthday Libby!!



There are many, many things we are thankful for, so I'll try to be as specific as I can since I can't write every single one of them:

1. We are thankful Emerson has a job he likes, and he is pretty darn good at it. We are blessed to have that, and that I'm able to stay home because I choose to.

2. We are thankful we live in America. We have gotten to know another culture, and we love it. 

3. We are also thankful for all the different people God put in our lives since we came to Columbus on Aug. 25th, 2007. Hadn't those people been there, our lives would probably be very different.

4. We are thankful that no matter what we do, no matter what we say, God will never give up on us, individually, as a couple, and as a family. We are thankful He loves us much more than we can ever imagine. We are thankful that no matter what life throws our way, He will make sure He completes the plan He has for us. He will carry it on...

5. And I am thankful for them :)
















































































jueves, 22 de noviembre de 2012

Elizabeth's view on marriage


Thanksgiving Day
3 am


I have this theory: A child holds on to what makes him feel secure. Duh! Anybody knows that, right?

I read in I don't know how many blogs and books that children, by nature, are very inclined to trust the adults in their lives. A child can believe anything you want him to believe. I see it with Libby... She points at her Bible and makes the sign for Jesus. Or sometimes when I am changing her diaper, I pray out loud -thanking God for Libby and Enzo- and she puts her hands together like when we pray at the dinner table. And whenever she hears the word Amen, she throws her arm up in the air. 

I love when she does all that, but putting my faith aside for a moment, I also know that she does it because I have been teaching her to do that. She didn't wake up one day saying, "Oh, I feel like signing Jesus today, even tough I have no idea who the guy is", do I make sense? Elizabeth trusts me. I could tell her we worship a rock, teach her the sign for that, and she would grow up believing the rock is the real deal, instead of Jesus. I could tell her right now that the tooth fairy exists, and she would believe me. It's kind of scary this feeling I have... that, in a way, I could mold my child's heart and thoughts to be whatever I want them to be. And I say scary because, bringing my faith back in, I know I am accountable for the spiritual well being of these children, at least for now. One day they will grow up and be accountable to God themselves, and they will be in charge of their thoughts and emotions. We, as parents, pave the way, tough. Tell a child all her childhood she is an idiot, and she will grow up believing that. I can vouch for that. 


Just beautiful


Tell a little girl, however, that she is beautiful and so freaking smart because God created her in His image, for a purpose, to tell others about His love. Tell her that she can do all things because Jesus will give her strength. Tell her that no matter how pretty she is, God is always looking at her heart, and that's what matters most. Tell her that you will always love her no matter what she does, not matter what she says... tell her all that and even more, and I honestly don't know what will happen, because my girl hasn't grown up yet. I know she will sin, I know she will make bad choices, but I also know that some, or even many of those, will be either caused or avoided by the upbringing in her childhood years. And I can keep on vouching for that. 

So anyway... all this I said because Emerson and I have discovered lately that there is some love going on in Elizabeth's crib every night between La Nena and Harry. He has walked several days in her bedroom early in the morning, only to find out that they are kissing each other in the mouth, noises and all. I've seen her doing that with other stuffed animals, but I only thought it was normal behavior because she sees us kissing. But this gets interesting. The only ones that are always kissing in the crib in the morning are Harry and La Nena. So it didn't take me too long to realize that not only those two kiss each other because she sees us kissing, but also because she associates us with them. Harry is his favorite show, hence she loves him. La Nena is her favorite doll. She totally loves those two.


Evidence during a nap


After telling Emerson I thought that he was Harry and I was La Nena, we walked into her bedroom yesterday only to find what we already knew. Harry was in her hand, but she didn't have La Nena in the other hand. She had been awake for awhile so she was probably playing with all the animals she sleeps with. This made it easier to prove if my theory was wrong... Daddy looked at Harry and said, "So, I see there's something going on here... Where's Mommy?" 

I was right in front of her. I had just told her good morning. She could have pointed to me. But she didn't. She grabbed La Nena. It was really cute to catch a glimpse on how her mind works. We are her world, and she can have her world with her every time she goes to bed. Even sweeter is the fact that she still loves Daddy after he spanked her before night nights. She was throwing this awful tantrum about a horse she plays with. She was also very tired... She was kind of sobbing in her sleep when I took this photo last night, to keep supporting my theory. I am never throwing away those two :)


My Toddzilla


In a complete different subject, I made it through the pediatrician's office with my two beautiful children. I'm telling you, that Libby is something else. She is just not a regular girl like the ones I've seen at the library, you know? They sit in mommy's lap to read a story and stay with mommy all the time. Mine is the girl who goes and touches everybody, and starts redecorating the lobby because she doesn't like where all the chairs are. Then she climbs the chairs time and again, and finally goes crazy when you secure her in the stroller because you are nursing her brother and can't chase her anymore -while everybody is watching. 

I honestly lost sleep just thinking about how I was gonna handle them. Libby is better "contained" in the stroller to start with, but then I would have to carry the whole car seat with Enzo, and push the stroller. Or she could be in the stroller while Enzo was in the sling, but it was a hassle to take it off while in the office... I went with Enzo in the car seat on the stroller, and Libby walking. Enzo was sleeping so I was able to chase her around. Then he woke up, and it was time to nurse him, so I took the car seat out of the stroller, put the seat on the floor, secure Toddzilla in the stroller -and hell broke loose- and start nursing Enzo. Sometimes it takes a long time for them to call us. Well, not this time... They called us in just after I had done all this. I hesitated for a moment. Libby on the stroller and Enzo in my arms, but the car seat was on the floor... So put Enzo in the car seat, stop showing your boob, push the stroller with one hand, and carry the baby in the car seat with the other- while everybody is  looking at me like I came out out of a cartoon. The nurse finally said, "Can I help you, Mom?" YES, PLEASE!!!


Look at those cheeks!


So Enzo weighs 11.8 lb and is 22.5 in. long. Libby weighs 22.6 lb and is 32 in. long. I think any concerns about Enzo not nursing enough are now gone. We had this bet going on, but we were off for more than a pound!

Today is Thanksgiving  but I didn't cook anything in advance like before. My kitchen has been overtaken by a pair of crazies. I am very thankful for many things, but I'll save that for another post.


Libby having oatmeal with yogurt. Enzo chilling.


I need to go to bed, it's 5:15 am. They say you always make time for what matters most to you. That's true. I blog about my family when everybody is sleeping :)


Nena showing brother the arts of watching Harry



lunes, 19 de noviembre de 2012

When having two was a good idea :)


Two things may happen when I don't write a post in a very long time:  First, things keep happening in my life; hence the post may be super long and boring. Second, I forget about most of the stuff that happened and the only way I can remember is to start typing away; hence the post also may be super long and boring. Many things have happened since my last post. Nana is gone for one. Enzo is getting biggerand longer. Elizabeth is even kinder with him, and she is driving me crazier at times.


La Guapérrima

El Guapérrimo













I am a very proud woman. I know it's wrong to rejoice in one's accomplishments, like if the accomplishment were what matters most. I don't mean that is wrong to be happy about my accomplishments, but to measure my self worth based on  them. I know better, but I still sin about it. I want to keep being the super woman I am in my head. The super woman I was able to pretend being when Libby was an only child. I cannot do that anymore, not even pretending. I have two children now. It stresses me to know that there's laundry to be fold, or dishes to wash, or a carpet to vacuum  And I want to do all that, but still be able to be with my children playing full time.


Emerson tells me I have false expectations of myself, and he is right, he just doesn't have the words to say it in a way I will be able to hear. Without Nana to help, I have to take care of my children on my own, and I'm not complaining. I know I'm not the only woman who has two children in diapers, I'm just saying is hard work. Libby is great, though. This morning she didn't want to walk the whole loop we do because she sign BABY and EAT. I have no idea if she meant that we needed to come back home so that Enzo could nurse. But it's amazing if she actually meant that. I pretended that's what she meant and came back. I took Enzo's coat off and told her we could go walking for a while longer but she didn't want that, until I told her Enzo was still asleep in the sling. She loves her brother, and she signs or tries to sign E for Enzo. 
  

"That would be NO goot" ~ Maria Portokalos


God is very good to me. I guess He keeps reminding me that the One who provides the strength for all I do is Him, and today I was able to vacuum, grill chicken, make hamburgers, take two walks with Libby, wash dishes after every meal, feed a baby every 2 1/2 hrs, and make dinner for my husband, who just came in because he had to go to the doctor. I was by myself with my two little loves for eleven hours today. I'm literally waiting for Enzo to nurse for the last time tonight to have a beer...

So how not to have high expectations of myself when my family deserves the best? I am blessed with my family. I love my children like I had no idea I would be able to love them. I just need to relax, I guess. Today was a great day, busy, very busy, but great. I got to talk to Libby about Jesus, we prayed many times for Daddy's MRI, for my sister, for Nana. We thanked Him for all that He does for us. God is really amazing.

On another note, I need Siri. Not really so much, but I guess it actually saves you time, and I need all the time I can get these days.


Nena brewing Mommy a coffee



We went to the Outlets the other day, and to say the least Emerson was stressed. Enzo has to be eating every 2-3 hours and it was just too much for us. I cannot even describe everything that happened, but all things considered, Libby did wonderful. Enzo cried most of the time. Actually I was buying underwear and Emerson said Libby was pointing at Enzo, signing he was hungry :)

Today Libby told me she wanted to eat grapes. Just made the sign for EAT and touched the grapes in the refrigerator. I didn't really pay attention to that because she walked into the living room after that, but came back whining in a minute and just threw herself against the fridge. I opened it, she touched the grapes again, and signed EAT. I gave her strawberries with yogurt (she had had grapes for lunch).


Ready to go out
Sleeping on the floor












"1,2,3... GOOOOOYAAAA!"
60° outfit according to Mom






Different child, same love




I need coffee. That's all I'm going to say.

I do not want to forget to tell the story about the ADD Nana. Make no mistake: My mom loves my children. You can actually say she would be willing to give up her life for them or for me -at least that's what she told me recently- if one of us were in danger.


Walking with Daddy and Mommy

Now let me be clear: My mom is very distracted, very. She does things I guess you are not supposed to do when you are around children. I have done similar things, it's just that I do them less often now. Why? Because I have learned - and I'm still learning- to kinda see the future, or anticipate what can go wrong in a situation with my children, and instead decide not to do it. That doesn't mean, however, that when I see something that can go wrong I always do the right thing.

For instance, Emerson fell asleep with Elizabeth once, and I let them sleep together. I came back for something I forgot in the bedroom, and I'm glad I did, because the pillow was on Libby's face. With Enzo, Emerson has been sleeping several times on the bed, and every time I check on them, Emerson seems to be like on top of him, and I do nothing... I should start doing something.

Anyway, I guess my mom is not and has not been around children in many years, so that kind of common sense has not developed in her. The other day she was sewing Elizabeth's pajamas, and was carrying around a needle in the worst possible way. Well, probably not the worst for her (because that would be her mouth), but for the children. The needle was just happily placed on her shirt... I saw it. I saw it many times actually, and did nothing. So in a way, it could have been my fault, because I didn't say anything AT ALL. But this is not a post of what could have happened, but of what actually happened. What happened was amazing...


Relieved Nana showing what NOT to do with a needle 


Before going on a date with Emerson on Friday, my mom told me she had very bad news for me. She said she couldn't find the needle. Really?? No wonder why... Anyway, we looked, and looked, and looked, only to find nothing. I prayed, she prayed, and I wasn't really worried. I just knew the needle wouldn't touch my children. There was nothing I could really do about it. So anyway, long story short... The needle appeared on top of the napkins in the pantry, somewhere my mom is not even able to reach. My dad actually grabbed the napkins for her since my mom needed them, and BAM! the needle fell to the floor. I have no reasonable explanation, other than God wanted to show my mom that He is taking care of my family.



Date night
"I'm outta here, Nana"






Nena playing with Nana




Nena at Walmart with Nana





I am happy we are on our own now. I miss my mom, but I'm happy to be taking care of my children myself. Things will only get better. I'm thankful for my health and for the health of my babies and Emerson. Tomorrow is shots for everybody under two here. It's my first appearance somewhere public on my own with two little ones. Too bad it had to be the doctor.



Mommy showing off her strenght




Anyway, I'm fried. I'm going nights nights with my babysitter...



Enzo putting me to sleep



.


jueves, 1 de noviembre de 2012

Cinderella sucks!


Two months ago my mom asked me to buy Elizabeth a costume for Halloween. I said no, mostly because Libby wouldn't even care about a costume, but also because... I don't know, I didn't feel like celebrating Halloween around here, you know? 

This is my first time as a parent. I want to do it right. Perfect. Emerson sent me an article the other day where researchers have come now to think that perfectionism is in the genes. Emerson drives me crazy with the stuff he does. But I don't think I'm a perfectionist. Many of the things they mentioned, however, rang a bell in my head. For example, I was raised in such a way that I grew up thinking nothing I did was good enough. That might not have been what my parents intended, but that was the message I got. Sometimes I'm afraid of doing something new or even try because I'm fearful I will fail at it.  


Hair spray and flush :))


That being said, I have children and there's nothing I can do to reverse that, so I want to do it best. People say I will make mistakes, and I guess they are right, but still I want to do it best. I really take seriously the fact that these children are not mine, and that I will give an account for their lives to God when I die. I know God will always help me, that I'm not alone, but sometimes I think too much about the day by day stuff. I over think about, you know, stuff like:
  1. What will I tell them about Santa?
  2. What will I tell them about the Tooth Fairy?
  3. How will I explain -without saying that's bull- the fact that Cinderella never went to college and still seemed to have it all together ?

I promised Elizabeth the day she was born that I will never lie to her, EVER. I may be over protective with some things. I didn't like the fact that Emerson was okay with Libby watching The Omen with him, so I covered her eyes all the time. I changed fucking to freaking whenever we were reading The Art of Racing in the Rain. But he said motherfucker like if he were saying cookie. 

However,  I also want to have a no nonsense approach in raising her. I mean, I don't know... I need to shower every day, right? So she sees me naked. She points to my boobs, and I tell her these are my breasts, that she has breasts, that they will grow one day thanks to hormones, and that she will nurse her babies if she wants to. And I know I need to teach her modesty, but she pushes the bathroom open when she is in the pack 'n play. Now with Enzo, the door HAS to be open, because Enzo is in the rocker while she is in the pack 'n play, and I need to watch them both. Eventually I won't allow him to see me, but for now, she has even pointed out my pubic hair, to which I respond God created it for He knows what since there are a lot of theories for its purpose, and that she will get it in her teen years.  

I told her yesterday that Halloween is a celebration that got started because people liked evil things, and that's why people wear scary costumes and stuff, but that we worship Jesus. We don't love Satan or anything like that, but we just want to have fun, dress up, and get candy from people we know.






I told her last Christmas that Santa is not real, that there was a man many years ago who was the actual Santa, but that man died, and people continued giving gifts to their children just to honor St. Nicholas. I told her it was okay to pretend there was a Santa if people asked her what Santa had brought her, but that it would be silly to think that a man can actually deliver thousands of gifts in just one night. 

Where is the magic? Where's the illusion? My dad judges me for not wanting to lie to my child about Santa, because mo matter how white the lie is, Santa is a big one. Sue me. And I cannot make my children believe in stuff like that, to have them grow up believing in something that is not real. I don't want Elizabeth to question Jesus. What if she ends up thinking that He is not real after all? Just like Santa... You know what I mean? I think too much, but my daughter is very smart, I have to outsmart her. And I won't lie to her, ever. 

So... where was I going with all this? Well, probably that I gave in with the Halloween because she looked very cute as the Pumpkin Fairy. But we won't go trick or treating around the neighborhood. It really scares me to have my children eat candy from people you don't know. Regarding Cinderella, Auntie Kate sent Libby some Legos... I told Libby we will watch some movies with princesses, but that I needed to warn her most of those stories, although cute, were not real. That you don't find your Prince  Charming out of the blue. That there is no right person for you, and that you can actually feel or have chemistry with many people... but to LOVE someone involves effort, commitment, and that in order to have a wonderful marriage you have to love God first. 

I also told her that no one lives happily ever after, not if you marry someone, because marriage is not easy. I just want her to use her brain, to learn to use her brain, and not believe everything she sees or hears. I guess I just want her to be the little girl I could've been, which in itself is sick because sometimes I feel I'm raising myself the way I would've wanted to be raised. Who knows? I'm just trying my very best... And when I look at her, how gentle she is, how kind she is with everybody, how patient she can be while waiting for her food, how freaking smart, I can't do anything but thank God for allowing me to be her mother, and also for allowing me to experience ALL that I have experienced so that I could be the mother I am. Yes. Humbly I say I AM A DARN GOOD MOM.   


Love the booties
Airplane




















In another note, Enzo is very good at night. He has compassion on me. He eats and goes to sleep right away. He seems to eat just enough to get by, but he pees a lot, so he must be getting what he needs. I can't wait for him to get his shots, that way we can all go to the office walking or just get out of the house to get coffee. I need to ask Emerson for a coffee allowance - and I am not kidding- I need to get out of this house.

Libby is super heavy or I lost my strength. I need to exercise. What else? Libby fell flat on her forehead the other day while coming back from the office. Her hands didn't help too much. 


Food: The cure for every pain


She won a coloring book and crayons for the coloring contest at the office. She knows now how to brew coffee on her own at the office. No kidding, I will post a video, I promise. I lost all the pregnancy weight. Today I weighed 132 lb. My belly sucks, tough. I want to exercise so bad, not even to tighten my belly, but because I have to keep up with these two, I want to carry Elizabeth, I want to throw her in the air, and I don't want to gasp for it. 


Pumpkins
Award Ceremony





Enjoying the prizes


I am so thankful that my mom is here, that she came to help me. I honestly don't know what I would've done without her. I still don't know how I will manage two on my own. My mom gives Libby her lunch while I'm nursing Enzo, but I don't get to have dinner sometimes until it is 7 pm. How will I do that on my own? The truth is my mom doesn't let Enzo cry, but I guess that's going to change because I have to eat first to take care of them!

My husband gets here tomorrow night. I've missed him so much. One week without him was too much. I don't want my life to change, but it will change, everything changes for good or even bad sometimes. God never changes, tough. He is awesome :))   


 
"Here's you candy, Mommy"