lunes, 19 de noviembre de 2012

When having two was a good idea :)

Two things may happen when I don't write a post in a very long time:  First, things keep happening in my life; hence the post may be super long and boring. Second, I forget about most of the stuff that happened and the only way I can remember is to start typing away; hence the post also may be super long and boring. Many things have happened since my last post. Nana is gone for one. Enzo is getting biggerand longer. Elizabeth is even kinder with him, and she is driving me crazier at times.

La Guapérrima

El Guapérrimo

I am a very proud woman. I know it's wrong to rejoice in one's accomplishments, like if the accomplishment were what matters most. I don't mean that is wrong to be happy about my accomplishments, but to measure my self worth based on  them. I know better, but I still sin about it. I want to keep being the super woman I am in my head. The super woman I was able to pretend being when Libby was an only child. I cannot do that anymore, not even pretending. I have two children now. It stresses me to know that there's laundry to be fold, or dishes to wash, or a carpet to vacuum  And I want to do all that, but still be able to be with my children playing full time.

Emerson tells me I have false expectations of myself, and he is right, he just doesn't have the words to say it in a way I will be able to hear. Without Nana to help, I have to take care of my children on my own, and I'm not complaining. I know I'm not the only woman who has two children in diapers, I'm just saying is hard work. Libby is great, though. This morning she didn't want to walk the whole loop we do because she sign BABY and EAT. I have no idea if she meant that we needed to come back home so that Enzo could nurse. But it's amazing if she actually meant that. I pretended that's what she meant and came back. I took Enzo's coat off and told her we could go walking for a while longer but she didn't want that, until I told her Enzo was still asleep in the sling. She loves her brother, and she signs or tries to sign E for Enzo. 

"That would be NO goot" ~ Maria Portokalos

God is very good to me. I guess He keeps reminding me that the One who provides the strength for all I do is Him, and today I was able to vacuum, grill chicken, make hamburgers, take two walks with Libby, wash dishes after every meal, feed a baby every 2 1/2 hrs, and make dinner for my husband, who just came in because he had to go to the doctor. I was by myself with my two little loves for eleven hours today. I'm literally waiting for Enzo to nurse for the last time tonight to have a beer...

So how not to have high expectations of myself when my family deserves the best? I am blessed with my family. I love my children like I had no idea I would be able to love them. I just need to relax, I guess. Today was a great day, busy, very busy, but great. I got to talk to Libby about Jesus, we prayed many times for Daddy's MRI, for my sister, for Nana. We thanked Him for all that He does for us. God is really amazing.

On another note, I need Siri. Not really so much, but I guess it actually saves you time, and I need all the time I can get these days.

Nena brewing Mommy a coffee

We went to the Outlets the other day, and to say the least Emerson was stressed. Enzo has to be eating every 2-3 hours and it was just too much for us. I cannot even describe everything that happened, but all things considered, Libby did wonderful. Enzo cried most of the time. Actually I was buying underwear and Emerson said Libby was pointing at Enzo, signing he was hungry :)

Today Libby told me she wanted to eat grapes. Just made the sign for EAT and touched the grapes in the refrigerator. I didn't really pay attention to that because she walked into the living room after that, but came back whining in a minute and just threw herself against the fridge. I opened it, she touched the grapes again, and signed EAT. I gave her strawberries with yogurt (she had had grapes for lunch).

Ready to go out
Sleeping on the floor

"1,2,3... GOOOOOYAAAA!"
60° outfit according to Mom

Different child, same love

I need coffee. That's all I'm going to say.

I do not want to forget to tell the story about the ADD Nana. Make no mistake: My mom loves my children. You can actually say she would be willing to give up her life for them or for me -at least that's what she told me recently- if one of us were in danger.

Walking with Daddy and Mommy

Now let me be clear: My mom is very distracted, very. She does things I guess you are not supposed to do when you are around children. I have done similar things, it's just that I do them less often now. Why? Because I have learned - and I'm still learning- to kinda see the future, or anticipate what can go wrong in a situation with my children, and instead decide not to do it. That doesn't mean, however, that when I see something that can go wrong I always do the right thing.

For instance, Emerson fell asleep with Elizabeth once, and I let them sleep together. I came back for something I forgot in the bedroom, and I'm glad I did, because the pillow was on Libby's face. With Enzo, Emerson has been sleeping several times on the bed, and every time I check on them, Emerson seems to be like on top of him, and I do nothing... I should start doing something.

Anyway, I guess my mom is not and has not been around children in many years, so that kind of common sense has not developed in her. The other day she was sewing Elizabeth's pajamas, and was carrying around a needle in the worst possible way. Well, probably not the worst for her (because that would be her mouth), but for the children. The needle was just happily placed on her shirt... I saw it. I saw it many times actually, and did nothing. So in a way, it could have been my fault, because I didn't say anything AT ALL. But this is not a post of what could have happened, but of what actually happened. What happened was amazing...

Relieved Nana showing what NOT to do with a needle 

Before going on a date with Emerson on Friday, my mom told me she had very bad news for me. She said she couldn't find the needle. Really?? No wonder why... Anyway, we looked, and looked, and looked, only to find nothing. I prayed, she prayed, and I wasn't really worried. I just knew the needle wouldn't touch my children. There was nothing I could really do about it. So anyway, long story short... The needle appeared on top of the napkins in the pantry, somewhere my mom is not even able to reach. My dad actually grabbed the napkins for her since my mom needed them, and BAM! the needle fell to the floor. I have no reasonable explanation, other than God wanted to show my mom that He is taking care of my family.

Date night
"I'm outta here, Nana"

Nena playing with Nana

Nena at Walmart with Nana

I am happy we are on our own now. I miss my mom, but I'm happy to be taking care of my children myself. Things will only get better. I'm thankful for my health and for the health of my babies and Emerson. Tomorrow is shots for everybody under two here. It's my first appearance somewhere public on my own with two little ones. Too bad it had to be the doctor.

Mommy showing off her strenght

Anyway, I'm fried. I'm going nights nights with my babysitter...

Enzo putting me to sleep


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