lunes, 28 de noviembre de 2011

Libby is six months old

I created this blog in October, 2010, and never wrote a single word. But that's about to change...

This has been a hectic year, mostly because now I'm a mom. I 'd like to think of myself as a busy mom, but I'm not THAT busy. 

I guess I'll start writing this thing because a friend of mine has one and don't get me wrong, I think I'm busy. But she works full time, has three children, is a single mom and still had time to write a blog??? She is so inspiring, and showed me I  CAN do this. I just need to find time to do it.

I'm almost finished writing that book, well I'm finished. I'm just waiting for Jeff to send me the last 4 chapters with corrections. 

I don't even know what you are supposed to write in here. I guess in my book you would read our story before coming to the US and some years after that. I want this blog to be like, you know, a continuation of that. My spiritual diary is full of stuff but not like it was before...

I'm not saying I'm taking a break from God, all I'm saying is that I feel my relationship with God has changed lately. Somehow I feel more than ever that HE LOVES ME, but it's weird because I don't give Him the same time that I used to. 

Before Elizabeth was born I was volunteering so much on Ohio. I was teaching at Grace, I was helping at two clinics praying for people, I was doing Alpha in Heritage, I was doing Children's Ministry at Northchurch, but them we moved and everything changed. 

We found a church home a year ago, but just yesterday I began volunteering taking care of the babies. 

I found out I was pregnant in September, 2010 and it was like my life stopped. I love, LOVE being a mom, but it is difficult to realize that my life is not my own anymore. Well, it's never been my own since I got saved, right?? I belong to God now, but somehow, I decided what to do with my time, and if I wanted to take a nap or three naps in the middle of the day I could do it.

But now, it's more like, I get to do whatever I can, if and only if it doesn't interfere with Libby's schedule. I love my baby girl. 

For instance, I don't get to go to the Women's Monthly Meeting because it's at 7 pm and I know by that time Libby is almost about to go to sleep for the night and I don't want to mess that up, but then I think the meeting is only once a month...sometimes I'm too anal about stuff. I need to relax and enjoy her as much as I can, it's okay if she doesn't go to bed at 7 once a month.

So...I don't get to read my Bible as much as I would like, but I do read it, and I do feel God's love all the time, I just look at Libby all the time and all I say all day long is, "Thank you, God, I thank you..."

Let's see...these are my entries from my diary, not all of them but the most important ones:

May 31st, 2010   Libby was born on May 24th, 2011 on Emerson's birthday at 5:33 pm. She weighed 9lb 4 oz. It was the worst and sweetest pain of my life. I used an app for timing contractions. Emerson said she was getting black because she was too big while I was pushing but I pushed so hard and it was a miracle. I was able to do all things though Jesus who gave me the strength to do it. She was jaundiced and we got out of the hospital on the 28th. Got her fist bath on the 30th, after I  accidentally took off her umbilical cord on the same day we got here from the hospital.

At the hospital with my baby girl
First bath

She pooped her diaper so bad that the bed was all dirty and she peed the bed. Emerson is in love with her. I'm in love with her.

We walked for the first time on Jun 19th. A day before, Jun 18th, she pooped the whole onesie, we had to cut it out with scissors.

Jun 22nd  I sinned against Libby. I get so mad at her when I can't comfort her and I think she should be different. On Jun 28th got her fist bath with Dad. On Jun 29th, I got sick with mastitis.

July 1st    Father, I love you. I wished I could say I'd always loved you this way, but I can't. Even since Elizabeth was born I feel different about you. I feel less forced to read my Bible, and I'm beginning to understand how you feel about me. I'm sorry when I demand you do things for Libby. Regarding my parents, it was a challenging experience. Thank you for healing my mastitis.

July 4th  She saw fireworks for the first time.
Waiting for the fireworks

July 17th   Went to church the first time. 

July 20th  I shouldn't be afraid of beingLibby's mom. I've been afraid of many things all my life, but being her mother shouldn't be one of them.

Aug 12th   She couldn't sleep well, but we prayed, "Jesus, I'm tired.  I believe you will need give me what I need. I want to meet you in my dreams, play with my brother and my cousin Braulio. Help me sleep." I don't know if that really happened...but she slept 11 hours straight.

Galveston. Sept 17, 2011.

Sep 13th   Libby always smiles when she's very tired and I sing songs about God.  It's like she knows the peace of God. I always prayed that she would be a joyful baby when I was pregnant.

Sep 24th  I had an MRI taken yesterday. I'm sick but God will take care of me. 

Oct 5th  I feel overwhelmed with the things about my neck. I feel awful about leaving her alone when I need to cook or clean. I need to leave Houston because of visa issues. I've been feeling depression is pulling me down like always. I needed a friend, I told you that, God, and you heard. Mary called me at that same time :))

I just need a break, I'm so tired...Visa didn't get here, the freezer went nuts, Libby got sick, I have three herniated discs...but you are in control. I know this is temporary. But it sucks while it's happening. And Jeff made me realize my life is perfect, no matter what...I'm healthy, I have food, I have clothes, it will be okay :))

Nov 5th   Need wisdom teeth removed. God, help me understand you don't need my religion. The fact that I don't volunteer as much or do as much as I used to, it's okay. You don't need my religious acts. It's my heart that you want. 

Nov 9th  Thank you for you Son, God. Your grace is enough for me. I'm afraid I'll mess up with Libby. But you are the only one who can help me. There are no words to describe how grateful I am that you died for me.

Nov 16th  Guess Libby doesn't like broccoli. She has thrown the pureed up 3 out of 3 times.

Nov 18th  I asked Libby for forgiveness. I haven't been joyful lately. How can I teach her to be something that I'm not??
Nov 22, 2011 far that's been what's happened around here. Oh...I got a keurig for Christmas which rocks. And we also bought a jogging stroller with the money my mom gave us for Christmas. Libby is very happy and my life is...perfect. Thank you, God :))

No hay comentarios:

Publicar un comentario