Hit the hell back

I feel so overwhelmed by this bloooooogggg... Never thought this would be so addictive because I can't stop thinking about it; but at the same time so stressful, because there is always something new to talk about.

So long story short... We came back from Mexico, and Emerson decides it would be a good idea to throw Enzo a party so we could take advantage of the sugar sheet made for Enzo... so here I  am stressed, trying to put together a cake with less than a week's notice. Now, don't get me wrong, by now I can make a cake with my eyes closed. Just a cake. But we are talking about my son, my one and only son. The apple of my eye, not my favorite, but my boy. And Emerson asks me to make just a cake. 

"There's not 'just' a cake in my cake vocabulary, Emerson. Okay, here we go. Focus. Speed. I am speed. One winner, Forty-two losers. I eat losers for breakfast. Breakfast? Maybe I should have had breakfast? Brekkie could be good for me. No, no no, focus.  Speed. Faster than fast, quicker than quick. I am Lightning."   

And so I made a cake. The theme was decided by my sister, who had given me the sheet, but it was still a work of art, I want to think. It surprises me, though, how naive my husband can be regarding a birthday cake. He thought it was going to cost around $20. NOT!! NOT MY CAKE!! NOT EVEN JUST THE CAKE!!

Then I made the cake Wednesday night. The next morning, I started making the fillling, and covering it with fondant.  I had to keep Libby entertained, and Enzo, too. I have no idea how I did it, but this might give you a hint: I let Libby play with my scrap-booking stamps, the ink, and so forth...

So, so full of ink

I needed to clean her after an hour or so...

"I need a house, Emerson, with a big isle in my kitchen"

"And a new and bigger mat to roll out my fondant..."

Final product. Cost without candle and sugar sheet: >$20
My boy is worth it. 

The morning of Enzo's birthday the cake was pretty much done. The only detail left was the flags. That  morning I had to take Enzo to the doctor for her 12 month old shots. My sister called me the worst mom ever. I didn't know his dad would throw a party that day. And this appointment was scheduled three moths ago... so yes, he got 6 pokes.

Brave boy!

Enzo is so close to walking... Soon after Libby turned one she began giving her first steps on her own. Enzo is not that far yet, I guess. He doesn't even use the lion, the way Libby used to. They gave me a sheet at BSF two weeks ago where it said I should appreciate my children's individuality. I don't think I did before reading that piece of paper. It talked about how God created them differently, and that it is my job as their mom to guide those strengths, and help them overcome their weaknesses. 

Libby is so focused for her age. She is memorizing things that they teach her at class like her Bible verses - which I totally wanted to post on a video here, but Emerson said she is not my fair pony. I get it, we'd talked about that before. I just want people to see how amazing she is, not because I get a kick out of it, you know... like I don't know... when we went to The Little Gym there was this super annoying mom pushing and pushing her daughter to do it better and best. But you could see the mom was a frustrated gymnast, what do I know? My worth and my identity doesn't come from what my daughter does, I just want the grandparents to see how smart their granddaughter is, that's all... Nanas, Andy and Carlos: Libby is able to recite Matthew 4:19 by heart. 

Libby always needs to be doing something, she cannot just lay in bed with us doing nothing. She is always reading books. We went to the library yesterday, and she is going crazy with all these new books she has to read.

Playing with Bro

He likes the fishies

Suffering face

Smiley face

Enzo on the other hands, is so sweet, and cuddly. He is so easy going. Even though he ran a 102 F fever this morning, he behave like a trooper. He took his Tylenol, and stayed in bed with us for like at least 30 minutes, just chilling. He watches TV with Daddy, on his lap. He can stay with you for hours, as long as you are rocking him, or holding him in your arms. He turns into a monster when he is hungry, or knows lunch time is coming, and sees you in the kitchen handling food. He gets to the gate, and starts screaming like you starve him to death. He is not a civilized human being when it comes to be patient waiting for his food. I remember I taught all those things to Libby, but she had such an easy disposition. He doesn't. He wants his food and he wants it now. Then he plays with it, and it didn't even break my heart when I took it away yesterday for good after he kept on playing.

This is how I think now: you are hungry, you eat. If you are playing with your food, then you are not that hungry or even hungry at all. I thought Emerson was the worst dad ever when he took Libby's tray away for one minute for the very first time when she was around one year old. But it is all it took for her to stop throwing the food at Dori. So yesterday Enzo didn't eat half his plate, he lost it after being given three warnings... and he survived. He has to learn. I guess it is just a matter of discipline and being consistent on the things you do. I don't feel like leaving my groceries for ten minutes while I go and spank my daughter in the bathroom of HEB, but I had to do it, because I said I would if she didn't stop misbehaving. And she chose wrong. I HAD to follow through, that's what I learned at BSF three years ago before Libby was born. If I don't follow through on a regular basis with what I say, I become a joke to my children. They'll love me, make no mistake, but they won't respect me, and have a healthy fear of me.

"Denle... pero no le dan." ~ Carlos Rendón.  Just an inside joke.

Libby and Mommy

YAY, Enzo!!

Love this picture of them

   

Happy face, Daddy's style

Trying to pose together

"Come here, Enzo!"

For the party, only a handful of children came. Not that my apartment needed more. Enzo was the king of the party for Nana Azu and Daddy. 

Fedding Enzo

Merritt and Darcy came with their children. I didn't really get to talk to them a lot, I was trying to be a good host to the children - who were being wild most of the time, you know, just being children. Everybody needed to eat something as soon as they saw other child eating something. And I'm impressed at how much food Libby can eat. Chips, dressing, carrots, grapes, more chips, then cake. I am glad I didn't buy juice boxes. I thought about it, but changed my mind at the last minute. Water was enough for them, they didn't need more sugar. 

We cut the cake at 6 pm. It was awesome!! It was a lemon cake with blackberry filling, and lemon cream cheese frosting. I've been told several times I should be making cakes, which I am doing. But I guess they mean getting paid. It would be nice one day, but not yet. I really feel I neglect my children every time I make a cake. They just watch TV, and play on their own. It is super nice they are so content playing by themselves, but I couldn't do it on a regular basis. We'll see when they go to school. Ha, if we don't go to Singapore first. 

Enzo, Kori, Libby, Levi and Liam

The food

Mordida

Cake with flags

Enzo eating cake

Trying to take a good picture

Almost dropped baby Lucy. 

Princess Libby

Saturday morning we went to the farm. We'd gone there before, but it was nice to go again and see Libby's face now that she is even more aware of her surroundings. Enzo liked it, too. He wanted to see the cows, and the chickens when he heard noises. 

Libby washed clothes and played with toys children used to play with back in those days, like the horsie, and checkers. We walked through the fields, and I took some photos of her on a window to compare with the same photos of her six months ago. I am always stressing about this blog. But nobody forces me to write it. I like doing it for their sake, my children's sake. In my thirties, I would honestly love to go to a website and read everything my mother felt, how she cried, what she thought, and what she did while raising my sister and I. It would make me understand my mother better, and make me feel I am not that crazy when I agree with Jeff when he says that children are God's biggest blessing and curse all in the same package...  

Barrington Farm

My boys

Nena sharing her hat

Washing clothes

Squeezing rags

Libby washing clothes

Libby and the rooster

Libby and the pig

Playing horsie

Real men wash clothes, too

Walking

Checkers

More checkers

Watching cows

Six months later...

After the farm we had a picnic, and then Libby and Enzo played for a little bit on the playground. We drove to the outlets to buy some things for Nana after that. Libby and Enzo rode a ride there. They were so ready to go night, nights by 6 pm. They took baths, put on their pajamas, and then Daddy and Mommy went on a date :)

Libby and Enzo,

You need to go on dates with your spouses. We will babysit for you, but you need to get out of the house. Your Daddy took me on this date, and it was awesome. Not-appropriate-for-others-to-read-awesome. There is still lots of passion and love between your Daddy and I, gays. You need to remember that on a regular basis. You need to feel that for your spouse. Otherwise, the routine of everyday, and the responsibilities of raising your children can choke your love. Not kill it, but you can choke it, without killing it, if that makes sense at all. One day it will make sense. Daddy, mhmm!!   

Fun at the playground

Kissing Daddy

"Oh, my barrette..."

"How does it look?"

Kisses

Enzo dancing

Enzo clapping

Look at that hair!

Getting ready

Down the slide with Daddy

The slide with Mommy

Riding the car

Last Tuesday we had another picnic. I had been telling Libby that once the weather cooperated we were going to have a picnic and read book under the trees, so we did :)

It's the first time I've let Enzo do his own thing. He had fun playing with the wood chips, and the abacus. I'm still afraid he would put everything into his mouth, but he is a boy, he is supposed to get dirty. I don't want to make him a mama's boy, o perrito faldero, like we would say in Spanish. Before eating we took a fifteen-minute walk, and after lunch we read books, and then we went for some ma ma ma!

About to eat wood chips

My goats

Walking

Sharing the abacus

Enzo having fun

Watching Sister

Master of Picnics

Enjoying the weather

Ma ma ma. Enzo always cries.

Finally... I had MOPS this Friday, and they got to my class and called me out because Libby had fallen down, and was bleeding abundantly from her mouth. That's what they said. When I got to her, she was glad to see me, and she hugged me tightly. I asked what had happened, and she said she fell. She wanted to cry, I think she was really scared. 

I wanted to hug her for dear life, but I needed to be sure she was okay. I asked her to look up and saw a burned chin, and what would become a very purple bruise. Then I asked her to open her mouth and stick out her tongue. There were two huge bites on the sides of her tongue - which explained all the blood. She bit her tongue when this little girl pushed her. The ladies at the class didn't tell me someone had pushed her. They only told the mom, who later contacted me to see how Libby was doing and apologized deeply. I am still debating whether or not to confront the teachers asking them why they didn't tell me this little girl had pushed Libby... The mom said they told her it wasn't a mean push, but a hurry-up push (still a push in her eyes) and that she had had a long talk with her daughter (long for a 2 year-old). I know Libby takes a long time to go down the slide or taking a turn, not an excuse for a push, but I can see what the teachers meant. I think it was wise of the teachers not to tell me, and I think that's what they didn't. 

I think at that time they didn't want to upset me more than what they thought I would be when I saw Libby. I think they were even more upset than I was, which makes me feel great. They really care for her. They were scared something really bad would happen to her. But after I saw the tongue, I hugged my daughter and we prayed. We thanked God for keeping her safe. We always pray for that, and He did. I mean, it doesn't mean she will never have an accident, but after all, she will be fine. Her tongue is healing, and her chin is purple and green, but she is absolutely fine. God still protected her against physical danger in my eyes. 

I emailed back and forth with this mom, and thanked her for her honesty. I wasn't even angry, she could have just let it go, but she didn't. She said she prayed for my daughter, because she didn't know if she was going to need stitches - which made me call the nurse, ha ha ha! Doris said her tongue would need to be literally fallen out for a doctor to do stitches in the inside of her mouth. Plus, I joked with the mom telling her to watch her back in two weeks, for I will go to her table and push her out of nowhere ;)

When everything was okay, I took a photo of Libby to send it to her Daddy, telling him she was okay. I just wanted to let him know what had happened. 

Big bites

Big bruise 

On the other hand, I swore I would never, ever teach Libby to push, or kick. But after these late episodes I will begin advising my daughter what Jeff shared with me the other day. He said he told Chris while growing up, "You never start a fight, but if they do, you make damn sure you finish it. If they hit you, you defend yourself, and hit the hell back."   

Since Libby didn't want to go back to her class, I took her to see the pumpkin patch on the outside of the church where we go to MOPS. She was happily smiling, and Enzo didn't like the feel of hay on his legs. Still we had a great fifteen-minute break before meeting Dana for lunch. Libby ate pizza, nachos with queso, chicken, and all you can think of. So I'm sure she was able to move her tongue alright :)

Playing with Pumpkins

  

Yesterday (Saturday) we went with Daddy to a brewery to leave some beer he had made with yeast they provided him with. We saw a cricket. I wanted to grab him to show it to Libby, but felt the creeps at the last minute. I talked Emerson into grabbing it :)

The cricket scares Mommy

That's if for now, I think. Emerson has been taking a nap for the last three hours. I wish I could nap... I could have, but I decided to write this post. I am glad I did. I feel free. I don't have any more photos pressuring me to write something about. Until tomorrow.