Libby's 1K race :)

"There is a strange phenomenon that happens when you have kids. As soon as they have developed to the point of asserting their own will, you begin to see faint traces of yourself in them. The things that you like about yourself, you also like about them. And the things that you would have rather not passed on – make  you blush like a ruddy-cheeked Highlander. 

It becomes inevitable that you have to face your delicate traits, because they interact with you in a little fleshy body every day." ~ Mandy Arioto.

Today (I don't even remember when today was) was a very long day. Very. Long. Day. It literally rained all day long, and we couldn't get out of the apartment, not even to walk around looking for the cat. I think when I tried to start typing this was Tuesday, October 29th. But as you can tell I didn't get too far.  It had been quite a long time since we had been stuck inside the apartment without an option. It totally changes my perspective when we stay inside just because it's what we want to do - or I want to do- versus it's what we have to do.

By the way, we know our cat's name is Taz. Actually today is Tuesday, November 5th, and we were outside all morning. I had to take my flu shot at Emerson's office. I couldn't sleep very well last night because I have a dry cough due to my allergies. The cough doesn't let me sleep. So anyway, on the way back, we stopped at BK for some coffee, because I was about to cry for how sleepy and tired I felt. I asked Libby if she wanted to go to the slides, and she said yes. She always says yes to almost everything. This time I made Enzo play with her, and I got on top of the playground with them.

I was feeling very self-conscious about it, you know, after all you are not supposed to be playing there, because it's for children. But there was not a soul there. We had the whole place for us. I was worrying about the structure, but it holds plenty of children at the same time, so I thought it would hold the three of us. I thought, "If I am not allowed, well, maybe they will let me know, and I'll get out then".

Group photo once he was happy

Ready to explore

"Let's go THERE!"

Mommy and me

Enzo playing like a big boy

On his own

Trying to figure it out

Playing with Sister

Going through the tunnel

I wanted to play with my children there. Nobody said anything, of course. I'm too old and too big for those things, though, but my children loved it. So I'll keep on doing it even if my bones hurt. I felt like Enzo actually enjoyed it. He cried and cried at the beginning, but he needs to start playing with Libby, I am not going to hold him forever.  

After that, I took them to see the horses. I had posted some photos before from when we went to the stables near the apartment. But before the horses, we stopped at the pharmacy to get some medicine for the cough, so that I can sleep at nights. I have a horrible hoarse voice, and it gets worse because I keep on coughing. The internet says to stop talking. Really? With two children I can't do that. I tried, but it didn't work after five minutes. So... when we were paying for my medicine, we saw the owner of the cat, and we asked her the cat's name. At least now we know his name to yell at him when we are walking outside. And it is a boy cat. A boy. Good to know.

Yesterday was such a difficult day. Libby was so naughty yesterday. Not a good girl at all. I felt exhausted. I wonder constantly if I am a good mom or if there is something I am not doing when she behaves like that. I forget she is not my little robot who will do as I say all the time. She has a will, and she is so stubborn, so stubborn!!

Libby and Enzo are readu for pum, pums.

We had a very busy day. We had to go to Merritt's house, then go buy groceries, then go get pum, pums. Libby and Enzo got the flu shot yesterday. We had lunch in the shopping cart. I cramped their schedules so much so that we didn't have to do anything else for the rest of the week, and we could just relax, play, have picnics, whatever... but they were so tired. They only slept in the car like 20 minutes each. This new day-light-saving-time is awful. I remember that before having children I thought it was the most amazing thing. I don't know why, but I thought you got to sleep more, one more hour, or something like that. But it sucks once you have children. Libby and Enzo are getting up at the same time in their internal clocks, but the same time is 6 am!! It's 8 in the morning, and we are finished with breakfast. Now what?

So after the pum, pums, we had to pick up Daddy's suit for his big presentation today. We stopped at Sur La Table to buy Libby some cookie cutters. We had dinner once Emerson got home, but all the time before she was hitting me, and was very disobedient. I fret because this never happens. And it's a good thing that it almost never happens. She gets so upset, she yells at me, she pretty much screams on my face what she wants me to do. Like, "I want TV!!" or "I want the cell phone!!". Emerson asked me if I had spanked her, and I hadn't. I just don't know what to do. When she treats me like this, it really hurts my feelings. I am here serving them all day, and this is what I get. And I raise my voice telling her to stop yelling at me, but we end up yelling at each other, and she doesn't even listen. I tell her she is on time out, and she yells even more. It takes a lot of my energy to remain calm, and that's why I haven't spanked her; I am so upset, too, that it would be out of anger. Thankfully, I thought about it and prayed about it, and I cannot allow this to keep happening.

Cooking

"Try the soup, Mommy"

Tasting Enzo's soup

The Chef

I kinda knew this, but I just didn't know how to handle it exactly. It will take more time for me, but once she gets this way, I am going to leave her in the bedroom with the gate. She will cry, and pout and scream her lungs out, but I need to chill for at least three minutes before going in, and give her a spanking. This way I would be more in control of myself. We'll see how it goes.

So anyway, she was very disobedient with Daddy, too. He asked her several times to say she was sorry, but she didn't. Last night, I told her that all the songs that she sings about the fruit of the Spirit need to be lived, not just sung. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. I said she was very unkind, not gentle with me, there was no goodness, she was actually very naughty... and I also said that I don't want her to say she is sorry if she doesn't feel it in her heart. I constantly make her apologize for bad things she does, but yesterday we started talking about the fact that God said there is no forgiveness without repentance, and what repentance means. I forgive her, because I love her, but at the same time I don't want -and God doesn't want- a "I am sorry", if it doesn't involve a contrite heart.

I guess most of the time we say we are sorry about getting caught or because we regret the consequences of our actions, but not necessarily because we really acknowledge in our hearts that what we did was wrong. I said I forgave her, and pointed out that Jesus died exactly for her behavior yesterday. I told her we all need Jesus for God to forgive us for the things we do wrong. I really hope she listens. I think she does. It will just show up in a conversation when I least expect it.

Playing in the morning

The bear and the moose

Princess

Apparently he likes celery

So after putting them to bed last night, I cried. I was so sad, and just disappointed... and overall so exhausted by how much time I have spent with them this last week. This last week was so tough. Probably not that bad, but tough for me. I think about families of five children, and I am like, I have no idea what I'm taking about. But this is what I can handle. I don't have five children -don't want to- but two are enough for me. Emerson was working so many hours for all these presentations and meetings, that some days he got here until 6:30 pm or 7 pm. By then I was just fried. I love my children. Love my children. I just needed a break. But even when he was here, he still needed to work.

We don't really know what the future holds for us, but that's okay. He had his big segment review and he did great. The possibility of going to Singapore -or anywhere outside the US- is on the table, but nothing is certain. I remember there was a lot of uncertainty about our future before getting the job in Houston. I was worried all the time, thinking about it minute after minute. But God took care of us. He has always been providing for us more... heck, much more than we need. He's got this. Are we going to move to the other side of the world? Don't know, don't care. This is what bugs me sometimes. Some people I know tell me to ask God for His will in my life, and to pray for His will, and His plan for our lives. To be wise and discern whether or not moving is a good option.

Duckie face

And I absolutely want God's will in my life. But for what I've learned in my relationship with God, He showed me many things at the beginning. You know, He was very close to me, I mean, He is close to me. What I mean is that at the very beginning, God takes special care of you as His new child when you come to faith in His Son. But at some point in your Christian walk, God will step back and let you do your own thing. I don't remember where, but there was this analogy about God and a new born calf. Sometimes the cow steps back and needs to let the calf get on his legs by himself.  You actually need to exercise your free will. You get to use the brain God gave you, and make choices.

Choices, that as long as they are within the circle of good choices for you, it doesn't really matter what you choose. God can use and will use you whether you choose to be a doctor or a lawyer. Sometimes He will tell you what to do step by step, sometimes He won't. But He will always guide you. He will open doors for you. Sometimes the leading is so obvious that there's no doubt it's what you need to do. I don't know what's going to happen, but I' m not worried a single bit, and it feels great.

"In the beginning..."

Bad one

Good one

"God created the heavens..."

I am excited, yes, because I would like to see another country. I don't  have ties with Houston and I won't terribly miss anybody. My focus right now is my family, and as long as we are together, we can go to China, and China will be our home for as long as we are there. Emerson has asked me how I feel about moving, but sometimes I don't know what he expects me to say. All I've said is that I'll do whatever needs to be done. I guess what I mean is that I am a firm believer in supporting your husband no matter what. Sometimes even when he is an idiot you have to support him. I don't know... Men need respect from their wives, or at least that's what I've been taught at Bible studies, and church. I won't go any deeper than that.

I remember that when we were about to get married, my dad told me to wait for Emerson to settle down in Ohio first, and then I could join him. I didn't want that to happen. Wasn't he my husband? We should be together in this. Of course, our lives together sucked balls (pardon my French) for the most part during that fist year... ha ha ha!! No. It was really hard, really hard, to overcome many obstacles in my messy life. But that's the beauty of it!! Now I look back, and I praise God for all those awful moments I hated so much. It was during those awful times when God showed me His love for me, how much He cared for me, and how much I was missing of life for being focused on the wrong things.

So I will follow my husband to the ends of the earth, because no matter how far we go, God will always be there. Now, that's my point of view. On a more secular point of view for those who read my blog, and couldn't care less about God: What am I supposed to do if my husband's job calls him to be relocated? I don't work... You can't deny it is a huge blessing to be able to stay home with my children. So if he needs to move to Timbuktu, then we all move to Timbuktu, because someone has to earn the bread, and it's not me :)

I think that's all that was in my gut lately. So now let's proceed with the main reason of this post: Libby's first race ever.


"Mami ma, mami mama, mami ma, mami mama!! "Hey! Enzo duchee!!" ~ Libby.

What Libby cares about

(All photos taken by Libby with my cell phone)

Brother playing

Pooh and his friends

Brother making a mess

Beto on her bed

Beto's ear

1st Day of Training

We started training on Thursday, October 24th. There's nothing much to talk about, other than she did great. We walked for one minute, jog for another minute and so on, until we completed 0.4 miles. The race was about 0.6 miles.

Warming up

Walking

Jogging for one minute

2nd Day of Training

We trained with Daddy on Friday, October 25th, because they were going to run together on Saturday. She was very excited about her puma shirt, especially after she saw Daddy wearing his. 

"Whaaat?"

Puma's fans

Silly faces

Running

Brother chasing Libby

3rd Day of Training

We didn't run on Saturday, October 26th. Mommy made ciabatta bread sandwiches, and we went to the airport to see some planes. We just relaxed, spent time together, and had some ice cream afterwards.  

My love

Eating

Watching planes

Plane

Enzo says Bye

My boy and me

Daddy and Nena

Bye, guys

Kisses for Daddy

Hanging out

YUM!

This is real ma, ma, ma

4th Day of Training

October 27th, 2013. Rest day and church.

5th Day of Training

October 28th, 2013.  We went to HEB to buy groceries. We wanted to help Daddy relax because he was very stressed about his meetings, so we thought buying groceries in advance would help. Enzo was very tired and was falling asleep in the cart. Of course he was exhausted, we were grocery shopping at 1 pm because we had to stop at PetSmart first to get Dori's food. I thought he wouldn't fall asleep since I was talking to him constantly. After watching him nod off several times, and almost bumping his head on the cart's handle, I had to take him out. We did the last 20 minutes of grocery shopping with Enzo sleeping in my arms :)

The hamsters

The turtles

Pericles... OUT!

That day we bought a ton of food for less than $70. That almost never happens... that our whole week of groceries is that cheap. Still I keep wondering how it was that we ate with so little when we were living in Ohio for the first year. Only God could take care of us like that. And it surprises me how God-focused you can stop from being when you know you can afford stuff. It had been a long time since I had asked God to help me save money on groceries. It might be silly for you, but this time I did. And He answered that prayer. Emerson surely was like the guys in that movie Michael, "Thank you, Jesus! Oh! Thank you , Jesus!"

That Monday we didn't train because Daddy got here until 7:30 pm. 

6th Day of Training

In the morning of Tuesday, October 29th, we went to "exercise" at BK. Libby played on the slides, and then we all shared an ice cream cone. They also got a smoothie, which they didn't share with me, of course. 

Spicing up the training

Team-in-training photo

Eating the plastic ghost

Trashing the calories burned

And she is happy about it :)

She can afford it 

Having fun

Princess

"My crown!"

"Bye, bye, BK!"

Once we got home, Enzo took a nap. Libby and I made more than a hundred whole wheat crackers for Daddy. Well, for all of us, really. 

Working

Kisses duckie-face style

After that Tuesday, Daddy was working so hard and so late at the office sometimes that I didn't have the energy to train with her. We had fun during the day, but we didn't "officially" run for my peace of mind, you know what I mean?

Race Day

The race was on Saturday, November 2nd, 2013. It took place in the parking lot of Fairfield Baptist Church, in Cypress, Texas. It was a very cold morning and it was windy. I thought Enzo would never use the jacket my mom gave him, but it worked wonders!

They woke up around 7 am, and after that we put on their clothes, and gave them a smoothie. That's all. We left the house around 7:20 am. We were ready by then, obviously.  

It is cold

Very cold

Getting her bib ready

Warming up with Daddy

Mommy encouraging Libby

Not sure about what's going to happen

And off she goes... with her Dad

The race has started!

Running with Mommy, too

Enjoying her race

Still running

Finish line and getting her medal

Receiving her medal

Showing us her medal

After the race, we had breakfast with Daddy at a coffee shop I discovered a while ago, but we'd never been there together. Emerson liked it. Libby and Enzo shared a smoothie, and had a grilled cheese sandwich. Emerson had to work that Saturday, too. But thankfully, everything seems to be back to normal now.

Look... I don't really know the impact of this experience in Libby's life. You know, if it will be something she will remember or not. It was important for me to enjoy that with her, to take pictures of her, and to have all these cute memories. And whether she will remember this in 20 years or not, it doesn't really matter. 

I can't do anything but smile now every time we go out, because she suddenly starts running. And she looks at me with those big, brown eyes and yells, "I run my race, Mommy!". And I always reply, "Yes, you do. You do." 

God has given me the biggest blessings in my life: Emerson, Libby and Enzo. Why wouldn't I trust Him? Why wouldn't I go to different places, even if they are not where I expected I would be? Why would I fear anything?  It makes no sense at all trying to control what I cannot control. He knows my future, and our future as a family. In Singapore, in Ireland, in Mexico... wherever. 

"Am I a God who is only close at hand?", says the Lord.

"No, I am far away at the same time. Can anyone hide from me in a secret place?

Am I not everywhere in all the heavens and earth?", says the Lord.

Jeremiah 23:23-24