I am really starting to think that sleep is one of those luxuries that only some people can afford. Nah... not really. I just like to play my violin sometimes, you know, like in the "Poor me"-mode. Last night, however, something really funny happened, and I enjoyed being awake at 4 am.
|"I said, 'Hug Baby'"|
So my daughter is the best daughter in the www, but you already knew that, right? For some strange reason which I will call "God working within me", I am growing into a more patient, tolerant parent. I'm just more aware of how God feels about me now that I spend all day long with Elizabeth. She is way more difficult to entertain than when she was just a five month old, because to start with, she just sleeps two hours a day, sometimes less, and I'm with her almost every moment. And when she throws those tantrums... I swear to God... It's like she is a different person, like a crazy mini me! But then she forgets about it, and she is as happy as usual. It's very difficult for me to remain angry, even upset. I love her to pieces.
|The chair was a gift from Grandpa Carlos|
So last night, we were hanging out at 4 am. I guess she had a bad dream or something, because she started crying awfully. It was an angry, mad cry, as if saying, "Mommy, I need you right here, right now!". I didn't go right away, I waited at least 20 minutes, but she didn't stop crying. I remembered last Saturday at small group she had cried that way, and she had a poopy diaper. So I went into her bedroom thinking that was it since before putting her to bed at 8 pm, she had been farting. But the diaper was clean, wet, but not messy. I stayed with her for at least five minutes, comforting her, and then I left. She cried for fifteen more minutes or so. I went in again, and I brought her with me to the living room, so that she could fall asleep in my arms.
|Hair style after waking up|
What made me think she was gonna fall asleep? Many months ago when I did that she would never fall asleep. Was she going to fall asleep now that she's even more alert than before? Of course not. I guess I just wanted to hug her, I don't know!! I wasn't even angry with her... In the past, whenever she would get up in the middle of the night, I would get very mad, I just wanted her to sleep throughout the night, and let me sleep, or at least, let me try to sleep. The three of us were in the same bedroom, but now it is different. Last night I was trying to sleep in the couch, I don't sleep very well, and the baby doesn't help with that either. So I was fully awake when I brought her into the living room with me.
This time I wasn't angry, instead I felt compassion. I felt she needed me, and I wanted to comfort her and tell her everything was going to be okay, that mommy was here, I mean, there for her. As soon as we got to the living room, she began calling Emerson. "Daaaaaa", she would yell. And our bedroom door was open. Dori got out. Libby started making the new noise for a dog, she sounds like she is a whining little dog. Then she began yelling,"Daaaa-Daaaa". But Emerson never woke up. I closed the door. She wanted to start playing with Dori, she was trying to get out of my arms, and off the couch since she was looking at all the lights from the router, the DVD, etc. So I told her that was it... I put her in her crib, and she cried on and off until probably 5:30 am.
We woke her up at 7:20 am. For breakfast she only had a smoothie with half a banana, 5 oz milk, and 1/4 cup oatmeal... ONLY that :)) Merritt got here late, soI washed the dishes while Libby was watching Harry.
|After a bad night, Harry is the best medicine|
She cried during our morning walk, but then we had fun walking with Kori. Libby has a beautiful heart. She was taking care of Kori all the time. She looked like her bodyguard. She would pat her in the back like saying, "Good job, Kori". Sometimes I would have to hold her because she needed to give Kori some room. Our routine didn't change much this morning, but she was obviously very tired after I took my shower. I gave her the morning snack, strawberries and cheese, and she took a nap from 10:30 am -1 pm. That was nice :)
I love her with all my heart. I just want to have the same energy when Baby is born and spend my day with them. It doesn't really matter if I don't sleep. I honestly have learned to deal with it. I even feel happy when I wake up, I don't complain like in the past... Ask my husband. I don't think, "It's going to be a long day" anymore. Actually, I feel really blessed, very thankful that I have a wonderful husband who provides for our family; a beautiful, intelligent, awesome, daughter; and a Baby who will be here in 6 more weeks to use the rest of my time :))
Thank you, God.