So now that Emerson is in India, I decided to start potty training Libby :S
That might seem kind of a bad idea, but the truth is, it is now or never. I have my mother in law here to help me get started. Here and there Emerson and I had been given Libby opportunities to go potty on the froggie (her potty) on her own, but we were never committed to do it (at least I was not). But now that we might move to India, I just thought it would be one less thing we have to do once we get there. I would rather have only one child in diapers when we move. I know it will be a long process, but I am committed to do it. I've been practicing patience. My daughter needs my patience :)
So we were doing the 3-day method of potty training, and don't get me wrong, I think this lady knows what's she is talking about. But at the same time, having observed Libby for two full days and having talked to Emerson's sister (who is a psychologist and specializes in working with children with autism), I don't think you can really train a child to go potty for life in just three days. Maybe what this method means is that at the end of the three-day period, your child will be able to recognize the signs, and openly tell you he needs to go. But that doesn't mean he won't have accidents. I don't know... We are not supposed to ask her if she needs to go, just remind her that if she needs to go, she should tell us. But Libby doesn't tell us with words! Sometimes I just see that she is dancing around and touching her private parts, and that's when I say, "You know what, Sweetie? I think you need to go pee right now".
Playing with Bunny and Froggie
But of course, since it was my idea, she yells and says she doesn't have to. At other times she actually says, "Yes, I think I want to go pipi". And then she goes.
And this might be the sour kangaroo in me talking, but I think it is so funny that only in America (in Mexico, too, for all I know) there are plenty of methods on how to potty train your child, all claiming to be the one. We give Libby a cookie as a reward every times she goes. But I honestly have a hard time believing my mom would give me a treat every time I went. Or that she would do the victory lap with me on her shoulders every single time. I love doing it with Libby. She gets so happy knowing she can do this by herself. I think it has boosted her self-confidence in ways I cannot explain.
This is so new to all of us, but especially to Libby. She is definitely growing.
So the first day, we had breakfast -still with a diaper- and then we threw her last diaper away. I am not putting a diaper again on Libby. I might carry tons of underwear, and pants with me, but she is done with diapers. Not only is this what this method suggests, but I think it is the healthiest -mentally wise- for her. She doesn't need to be confused. The objective in the long run is that she knows that she is done with that part of her life. She can do this. She can do everything. Plus, as a matter of fact, there will always be accidents. Heck, I still was having accidents at age 10! And even when I was like 25 or 26, I still wet the bed one night!! I was so tired at night, and I remember I was dreaming about going to the bathroom. I thought I had made it there and went pipis, but one minute later the bed was wet.
We were just observing Libby and telling her to let us know when she was ready to go pipis... she had like eight accidents in a row. Little ones, big ones. But when we were on diaper nine, she was able to hold it, and she finished in the toilet. OH MY GOODNESS!!! I was so freaking happy for her, that I felt like screaming on her face. But I knew I was going to scare her. I kept quiet. This was the biggest challenge for me so far: letting her enjoy her big moment, instead of making it mine.
When she saw she had finished going pipi in the toilet, she looked at me and smiled with a big smile. I told her she needed to put on new underwear, and she did, on her own. Then I told her I was so proud of her. She literally screamed... out of pure happiness!! It was just a praise overflow from me and Nana afterwards. Even Enzo clapped! And of course, I asked if she remembered the cookies she had bought at the store last time we went. She said, "Yes, the ones for when I go pipis in the toilet."
She got one :)
After that, she didn't have any more accidents for the rest of the day. We asked her obviously several times if she needed to go, and she went as she needed. Then we put the children to bed around 8:30 pm. This is such an exciting thing now that she was just "playing" getting up and down the toilet. Practicing taking her underwear off and putting it back on.
I had made a quick trip to Walmart to buy some flavored water so that she would drink more liquids, and I bought her some night lamps. She loved them. So she was in the bathroom for at least 90 minutes. We were in the living room just doing our own thing, and then we heard the noise of her pee flowing down in the toilet. We were so happy for her. So happy.
I got in her room after she had gone to sleep to make sure she wouldn't get wet. She woke up on her own around 2 am, and she told me there was a dinosaur in her bedrrom. Yeah, right... I think she was talking about the dinosaur show, which premier was on January 20th, and we missed!! Anyways, she saw me inside her room, and you know Libby. She never stopped talking, until almost 6 am. I never let the room, maybe that was my mistake. I stayed because she asked me to stay. I don't have all the answers to this mothering thing. At some point she was just sitting on her bed staring at the darkness, and I felt sad. I wanted her to talk, to be happy. But then, once I told her to go night, nights, she started talking again!! I had to leave.
|She always shares her cookie with this little guy.|
She cried and cried. She yelled asking me to come back. She even said she would be quiet, and that broke my heart ;( I came back. I sat her down on her bed, and I told her, "Nena, I love you with all my heart. I don't care if you go pipis in the toilet. I am proud of you when you go, but that's not why I love you. If you go, I love you. If you don't go, I love you. I will always love you. Remember the song I made up for you and Enzo? Mommy and Daddy will always youuuuu.... Daddy and Mommy always will... No matter what you doooo, no matter what you say.... no matter whaaaaat. Now, that being said, I think you need to go to bed because you are really tired. I am really tired, too, and I need to go to sleep. If you need to go to the toilet, you go on your own. You can do it, Nena. You are a big girl. I trust you."
I'm not going to entertain you right now...
(other than distracting you with this light)
Nana Azu heard all the screaming, and got up. She wanted to go and sleep with them, but I suggested she didn't. I mean, it was up to her. After being awake for four hours in the middle of the night, I was done. I went to bed. She got in their bedroom, and found Libby inside Enzo's crib (which she climbs from outside), but was actually climbing out. Enzo was also lifting his legs up trying to get out, just like Sister. Nana began calming Enzo down, and he passed out. Then she began massaging Libby's head, and she passed out. They woke up around 8:30 am today.
I am trying to be compassionate with my daughter. I understand this is new for her, but the crying last night might or might have not been because of the potty. She will talk your ears off, no matter what. That's Libby in the middle of the night, whether you are camping, gets a fever, or if you are at a hotel. So we decided to not sleep with her anymore, and I will just check on her throughout the night. I'll change sheets and pajamas as needed, but I won't chat with her. It's going to be so difficult. She always gets me when she asks me to pray for her again. How can I not pray for her one more time if she asks? You can always pray...
|My big girl|
Today, the second day, we lost her out of our sight for thirty seconds. She hid behind a chair... then I saw a big piece of poop coming out of her diaper. I took her to the toilet. Poop fell on my foot, and on her legs, but there was enough poop to put inside the toilet and wave bye, byes. Today we worked on the five steps of going pipis: go pipis, clean your private parts, flush toilet, put your underewear back on, wash your hands. She is crazy about making lists of things to do. She loves knowing what's next, so it worked! She does that now on her own.
Tomorrow is our third day, and I think it's going to be great. We are probably gonna spend it here, or we might take a little walk to see how she does outside. We are training her for real life, not only to go pipis while she is in the house. It's a learning process... and it is perfectly clear that my priorities are going to change.
No more diapers, no more diapers, no more diapers!! That's our song lately. That means I won't get to put them in the stroller, go run for an hour, take them to the slides, have a picnic, and make them take a little walk. All in the same trip. At least not right now. Plus, there are no bathrooms at the slides! What about grocery shopping? What about...? What about...? I don't know, we'll figure it out. We can really do everything thru Him who gives us strength :)
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
|Sweet girl ;)|
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel.
Takes pleasure in the flowering of the truth.
Puts up with anythings,
Trusts God always,
Always look for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps ging to the end.
(1 Cor 13:4-7. The Message.)