Sweet Déjà vu

I miss Emerson very much :(

I'm not sleeping very well at night because I keep on texting with him. I know he is awake when I am supposed to be sleeping. Plus I don't feel like going to bed until I pretty much pass out - either on the couch or on my bed - because I miss him. Hence, I'm eating like a pig out of anxiety. I have never experienced something like this before. The only time I would stuff my face in the pantry to eat a peanut butter sandwich (or Oreo cookies) with milk was when Libby and Enzo began taking naps at the same time. That was a long time ago... They would only give me a fifteen-minute break, and I was so, so stressed out, that I would just eat cookie after cookie trying to satisfy something that I can only describe as a hole in my gut. But I was never able to really satisfy it.

I obviosuly stopped that bad eating habit... otherwise I would be rolling right now. And it might be really cliche to talk about Jesus right now, but that's how I felt for most of my life before becoming a Christian. I felt I needed to fill the hole I had inside me. I knew there was something off. I don't want to say I knew there was something wrong with the way I was living my life, because for all I knew, I was doing good things. Stuff that was acceptable to others, and stuff that even other people were doing. But I felt empty.

Owning that squirrel ;)

It is true you have the power to conquer every single temptation, and every single weakness, in Christ.  When I say in Christ, I mean He can help you. He will help you if you are ready to accept the help. Ready to humble yourself, and accept the fact you are not good enough to do it on your own. Now, you can be super proud, and do whatever it is you need to do out of selfish will power. But in my particular case, I suck at that. I need someone bigger than me, and stronger than me. Someone who will be committed to help me and rescue me, even when I'm not even committed to myself. That's my Savior, Jesus.

Libby actually stopped scratching her beautiful face. And she's two. Come on, Karla. You can actually stop stuffing your face... The point is I've been eating pretty much crap since Emerson left. Chips and salsa, ramen noodles, ice cream... tacos al pastor my mother in law brought me, wine, beer, you name it. It's a matter of choice. You always have a choice. I'm owning my actions. Jesus can and will help me. But I still choose to stuff my face. It's wrong. I know.

Fortunately, though, we began potty training Libby yesterday, and I've been getting my mind entertained all day long just taking care of her, making sure she doesn't wet her underwear... that's a post on its own. Libby deserves her own post about that.

"It might not be that sour..."

"Dang it! I knew it would!"

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you, people, what we've been up to. I was going to convince my mother in law to go eat at Olive Garden, and I did. I didn't even have to convince her. When we picked her up at the airport, I had given Libby my word that we were going to see the train tracks. I, naively, hoped she would forget. She remembered. So I had to pay three dollars to park at the airport to watch the planes, and the "train" that takes people from one terminal to the others. After watching planes, we went to have lunch, and I finally had my chicken alfredo!! Oh my goodness, I was so happy!!

I ate like if belonged to the porcine family (but I had mentioned that before). Lots of salad, I ate all that was on my plate, and still had the cinicism to ask for dessert. And yes, I ate ALL my white chocolate raspberry cheesecake. After that, I felt great, as if a burden had lifted from my soul. I thought about the car-wreck the week before, the one for which we couldn't take the exit. I wondered if the people were okay. I hope they are. Anyway, I was very happy. I was very, very happy to have finally eaten there.

Riding the squirrel

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We went to the slides after that, the same ones we went last week. But this time I didn't puke ;)  Libby and Enzo were so happy once we got there... They began yelling in the car as soon as we got there, and they had a blast. After the slides, we came back home, and they took a nap. We gave them baths, and put them to bed. I hadn't mentioned this before, but my friend Cora brought me a cupckae Friday night. So I even had another cupcake! And that was the end of my actual birthday. 

Enzo sliding down

When the children were asleep, I read with my mother in law this document about the three day method of potty training. I wanted us to be on the same page the next morning. We decided to do our own thing. We were still following this lady's advice pretty much, but the truth is, up to this day, we had no idea what we were doing. She never potty trained Emerson or Pamela (her mother in law did it), so she was new to this thing, too.

Sharing a ride

I ended up going to bed around 2 am, after texting with Emerson for a little bit. These are some pictures he sent me. He visited a temple, and other neighborhoods. On Monday, they'll come up with the plans for his team. I'll keep you posted on how the India thing is looking ahead. 

He said this reminded him of us. 

No shoes at the temple, out of respect. 

People praying at the temple

I'll post about Libby's potty training as long as I have a chance to write. Just to give you a heads up, today was the very first day. We put her to bed at 8:30 pm. She kept on getting up to go to the toilet. We thought she was just exploring - playing, actually. It's the first time EVER, that she actually has access to the bathroom. Now, she also has night lamps in her room, and the bathroom.

We decided to let her roam about. At least she wasn't afraid of the big toilet, and she might have been "playing" but practicing taking off and putting on her underwear and pants at the same time. Then, at 10 pm... 10 pm!! we finally heard the sweet sound of pipis hitting the toilet water...


So it was a great first day :)

Left: Libby's first time ever at  Cypress Creek Park slides and Squirrel.
Right: Same squirrel, five months later. I'm proud of her confidence :)