domingo, 18 de marzo de 2012

Daddy's back

Well, Daddy has been back for four days... but I couldn't write before because I honestly didn't have the time. Emerson took care of Elizabeth today because she is sick, and I went to church. 

He's been feeling sick, too, so they stayed home, and when I came back, he said she was very active, all the time. I thought, "Really? You think? Tell ME about it!!!" 

This past week Emerson went to the NACE conference in Salt Lake City, UT. He left on Tuesday morning and came back on Wednesday night. We took him to the airport at 6 in the morning, then Elizabeth and I went to the chiropractor. 

Letter Libby wrote for Daddy for his trip

Not a lot of new things have happened around here. Well, other than the fact that I was by myself with Elizabeth for two days, it was the same. I was so exhausted by night... but we also had fun, and we went to Walmart to buy her formula and diapers (not a very exciting Mommy), and the next day we went for a coffee to Starbucks. 

Hairstyle after bath  :)

It was't the same being alone with her. I felt sad, specially when she was asleep for the night. I was tired, but I was thinking that it has to be very, very hard to be a single mom. I wasn't working during those two days, I was just taking care of her, but still, it was hard. I can't imagine how it has to be for moms who work and have to take care of their babies. I know they are in childcare, I guess, but it has to be difficult not being able to be with them, and then coming home for just a couple of hours, before they go to bed. 

BBQ sauce accident caused by Mom

Anyway, I missed my husband very much. Even though most of the time I complain about him not helping me around the house - which he actually does - the fact that he is there with Libby, just making her company, and he plays with her, and kisses her while I cook dinner makes all the difference in the world, not only for Elizabeth, but for me, too. 

Yesterday, we went to the store to buy Libby one of those push toys, so she can walk. We don't really know why we did that, it's like we are digging our own graves (my grave). But anyway, she loves it.

Did I mention that I'm cooking more now, like, we no longer eat sandwiches or pizzas or quesadillas?  Most of the time, we actually have dinner together, all of us. I don't remember if I mentioned that or not, but I like it. It was because Elizabeth needed to start eating by herself, and I wasn't gonna feed her turkey breast and cheese every day.

Just now, Elizabeth went to take a nap, she was pushing the lion and suddenly started crying. She cries whenever she can't do something... so either she became angry with the lion because it was going too fast or somethig else happened. 

This smile reminds me of Heaven
I've noticed (this is the second time) that she gets mad or upset with toys, and actually throws them, when she is super tired, so I told her it was time to go night, night, and she fell asleep in Daddy's arms, while he was singing to her.

Daddy is napping in the couch, I need a nap, too... but the chicken is on the stove. Sometimes I wish I could sleep all I want, but I just can't.

We are having tinga for dinner, with tostadas, and refried beans I made. And we'll have all sorts of goodies: sour cream, avocado and  cheese. 

We made this experiment with Libby and her food this afternoon. We wanted to see how much food she actually eats, and how much goes to Dori. We found out she eats about of 75% of everything I give her. Well, that explains the huge, and smelly poopy diapers.

She is growing very fast, day by day. Oh, Libby... I joke when I tell you to be a redneck and not go to college, because I want you to go and study, and learn things, so that you can discover your full potential and be the woman God wants you to be. 

I joke when I tell you that you don't need to learn about math or stuff, that you only need Mommy, and Daddy, and God (and God is really all you need, but you need some other things too, I'll explain later).

But at the same time I wish your life would be like The Runaway Bunny. That everywhere you would want to go, I could chase you, and make you come back, so that you could be my little bunny forever, and ever. 

I wouldn't care if I had to do your laundry until you are sixty, and still having to cook for you (Daddy would probably care). I would want you to be joyful, and happy, and full of life, and spend your life with me.

But I also know that you are not mine, nor Daddy's. You are a gift God gave us, but you are His, you are not for us to keep. If I want you to be the woman I see you can be, I have to let you go. Just as I let you go of my breasts, you have to go to preschool, and then Kindergarten, and school, and then college, and then you'll get married if you choose to. And one day, you'll just go from my life, I mean, you won't be here with me all the time. 

But remember what Jesus said to his disciples? Why don't we sing together now that we still can??

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, if anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross, and follow me, follow me... Fooollow, follow me, follow me, Follow, fooollow me, follow me."

"For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my will find it..."

You and Daddy are my life. We have to let you go... I have to lose you in order to find you. I have to lose you in order to save you. I have to lose you - my sweet, little life- in order that you actually like being with me when I'm 80 and you are 50. 

But for now my Runaway Libby... have a cookie, you are delirious!!


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